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Contact Thiebald Axeslammer at grondhuisb@hotmail.com
Fellow wizards,
My name is Muon, pleasure to meet you. The Oracle has spoken again and this time it appears her words cannot be mocked. I will elaborate later but let me first give you some background.
Croper's Wood is my home and birthplace and as ever all our welcome to enjoy our hospitality. At birth the Oracle, then just a young shaman performed the usual birthing rituals. She foretold that I would grow to be a wizard and live out my days a hermit deep in the woods. In my short life to date I have done all in my power to avoid this awful prophesy, during childhood I spent all my time playing with the other children and learning none of the magick arts. But I was prone to catch diseases from the children and with much running around my legs did not grow as they should. To only four and three sixteenths of a hand I 'grew', short even for a halfling. Hence my true destiny was set, to lead my people as the shortest adult of our race.
The Oracle was wrong and being a halfling I made much fun at her expense ever since, so when she started on about Arragoth you can guess my response. But one day, after imbibing too much Old throatstomper I mocked Arragoth himself. Mistake big time, we quickly sobered up at the sight of the three lava legions that appeared from nowhere. Sobered up may have been the wrong words because I remember nothing of the fight that ensued, only that I woke, in my own bed, proud owner of burns and lacerations, the likes of which I wouldn't wish on an orc. Oh and the tavern isn't there any more.
Now I am blabbering. The point is Arragoth is coming and we must prepare now. I am even going to try to learn some wizardry much as it pains me. Let us together storm his stronghold before he awakens. I enclose Pliny's 'History of the Halfling Race' to help you get to know us.
by
Augustus Pliny
3rd Age: 497
There are two mutually exclusive accounts of halfling ancestry, but both agree, the Isles of Arragoth are the spiritual home of these jolly short folk. The first tells of an illicit relationship between a male dwarf, named Eve and a female Gnome, by the name of Adam whose mating sporned the first halflings. The second tells of a mad wizard who wanting workers who ate less shrunk his humanoid workforce. Sadly for the wizard it is told that he then had to hire more people to do the work and hence the food bill stayed the same.
Actually there is a third theory, proposed by Darwin, that the halflings were a race of humans living in a forest of Yellowwood trees [they have dense folliage from about four and a half feet up but lots of space below that for short creatures to live and hunt]. Hence being short improved hunting yields and proto-halflings prefered to mate with short partners which through a process he calls natural selection led halfling to end up short. It is a nice story but as a scientist I have to say has no basis in reality.
Like me you must now be wondering how a race with such inaspicious beginnings did not invent for itself a more heroic past, where shortness was needed by a noble or evil God and the people fought heroicly. This absence tells us much of the halflings for they love their strange origins and making fun of them. Joviality is the mainstay of halfling culture and halflings have learnt that self-mockery was a lot safer than mocking Gods or Minotaurs.
The halflings spread across the Isles avoiding the flat open lands. The Fire Gods liked the halflings for, although they were evil, they too had a sense of humour. Unfortunately the God's humour lead to a lot more dead halflings than the halfling humour led to dead gods. The asendency of Arragoth ended that for he was evil but lacked a sense of humour and drove out the halflings.
A handful of halflings, which is a few more than a handful of most races, found a nearby continent, Kla'grove. New cities were founded and halflings lived long and happy lives, but the mysteries of Arragoth were to draw them back. Periodically scouting parties returned to the Isles. Some returned with bad news, others didn't return. Then one day a party led by Lepton brought back news that Arragoths legions were nowhere to be seen. A glorious third Age was to begin.
Halflings were the first of the humanoid races to return to the Isles, others were to follow and given the undetermined ancestery of halflings, were all welcomed as brothers. This is the true golden age of the halfling who enjoy the best of all things. The only stain on the period was a civil war (216-218) over theories of ancestery, which of all things probably shows how little they had to worry about. Times are changing however and rumours of a return of Arragoth are increasing.
Contact Muon at antimuon@yahoo.co.uk
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The Carak-Mur Dwarves of Jollymount are a grouchy lot, but who can blame them? Forced from their natural niche in the volcanic mountains by Agarroth’s Lava Legions so many ages ago, they had been reduced to eeking out a miserable existence in the fetid swamps of Jollymount. The name of their capital is itself all bitter irony. However, the Carak-Mur Dwarves have yet to give up the dream of returning to their ancestral homes. Recently a new leader has arisen by the nickname of Shrike. Despite his youth and smallness (his stature resembles a halfling more than a dwarf) he has been unanimnously respected for his intelligence and character. This new leader brought a new confidence to the Dwarves of Carak-Mur and a determination that now was the time to arise and reclaim their long remembered caverns. Tolvar Kingsworn (the Shrike, as he is known) has advised his people that to ascend to their former greatness they must defeat the minions of Agarroth To do this they will need strong, trustworthy allies. Many races populate the land, some will be led by great Kings, some will be not, some will be friendly, others less so, but Shrike is confident that a few may prove worthy. For those not worthy, stand aside or be struck down!
Contact Shrike at creggec@telusplanet.net
Heys you'es non-orcs'es. I is Lord Vald--urg, stupid pens, Lord
Vladumb--err bah.. no.. I is Lord of da Orcs'es. I strong magic-wizard
person, me horde is powertfool and mitey, but even us Orcs'es unnersand
diplima-- err talk.. we unnersand talkin' insted of fightin' although
fightin' is more fun. Wes'es is to be fightin' da Lava Legions.. anyone who
no like dat cans com takes it ups wit us.
Lord Vladimir BlackLancer - HA! I dids it.. I knows it coulda be done.
Contact Vladimir BlackLancer at eclipse@ctive.com
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