PLAYER 1 - Lucifer

No Blurb Submitted As Yet.

Contact Lucifer at ericgio@aol.com

PLAYER 2 - Nameless Wizard

Hello! I am somebody and these are my
scrolls! I am a fighter that loves halfling
cookies 8D



I have been meaning to put some scrolls up for a
long time and now I have! It is quite simple



right now, but I will be adding pictures and
things later





So, without further delay,
here is at least a part of my story. I hope it will give
you an idea of my past:







I was born in Cropers Wood long before the Ripture War.
My parents, Purple Haze and Elenis Reyav, were exiled
there from the mainland and met each other in Cropers
Wood. My mother went away when I was young and even now i
do not know whether she is alive somewhere or dead. I
fear now that she is dead.







I have lived in Cropers Wood all my life so what I know
about the mainland and the Ascendancy I have learned from
the stories of exiles. All my life I have been fighting
with the rest of Cropers Wood to survive in this harsh
island chain, ever since I was old enough to lift a club.



The skills of a warrior came easily to me. Perhaps a part
of this was because I was born on these islands and thus
had less fear of death. The ability to fall and yet not
die, and to project my spirit to purgatory has been with
me since I was born. I grew up taking this for granted
and so I learned to fight with no fear of death.







I was 12 when I had my first encounter with a Vampyre. I
was hunting in the undine caverns with a few other exiles
when a strange undine came from out of now where it
seemed. It was like no other undine I had ever seen! At
first it was aggressive, felling some of my companions
and easily with a slash of its claws or with a spell. It
could cast a spell that cause shimmering bubbles to float
around the victim, slowly draining the life from them
until they fell. It spoke to us some times and many
people asked it many questions. I do not remember them
all or even all the answers it gave, but it seemed
unhappy with our invasion in to its cave and with the
slaying of it's fellow undine. I noticed some exiles
acting strange occasionally. The Vampyre would look at
them for while and then suddenly the victim would turn
and attack any exiles that were near, friend or not. The
exile would wander about, apparently as mindless as an
undine. We discovered that the only way to release an
exile from this state was to lure it far away from the
Vampyre until the spell broke.



I was not sure what was going on until suddenly the
Vampyre was looking at me. It gazed into my eyes and held
them fast. I could not look away. I could do nothing. I
watched helplessly as my body took on a mind of it’s
own. I could speak and I could see the events around me
and was aware of them, but my muscles would not obey my
commands. I attacked my friends viciously, helpless to
stop myself. I wandered the cave attacking exiles for a
long time before I was finally led out of range of the
Vampyres spell. The memory of that night haunted me for
years. It is only recently that I have grown out of my
hatred for the Vampyres, though even now I cannot help
but fear them.







As if the experience of helplessness I felt that night
while under control was not enough, my father did
something that same night that hurt our relationship for
years after. He spoke with the Vampyre for many hours and
then the Vampyre touched my father’s forehead and
left a special symbol on him, the mark of the Vampyre. My
father, it seemed to me, was becoming servant to the
being that I hated and feared so much. This fed my fear
and my hatred all the more for it appeared the Vampyre
had stolen away my father from me forever. I drifted
apart from my father then. I did not feel comfortable
around him anymore. I feared for him and I feared what he
had become. A servant to the undine, I thought, lost
forever to the evil powers of the Vampyre.



I made many friends in Cropers Wood. I hunted as often as
I could, honing my skills and always seeking to become
stronger. One of my closest friends was Dianus. We grew
very close to each other, hunting along side each other
for several years. The companionship was a joy to me.



But one day Dianus went away. She said that she must go
on a long journey and she may never be back. I was
decimated. After she left I missed her more than i ever
could have imagined I would. Like it is so many times
with love I did not realize that I loved her until she
was already gone. I kept thinking that perhaps she would
not have gone away if I had only been able to tell her.
But she was gone forever I thought.



When I learned of Lilit I almost immediately hated her.
She seemed to me to be worse than my father even. That
she claimed my father as a type of kin only made me hate
her more. It was less than 2 years from the date I write
this that my hatred of Lilit grew to its peak. I began a
campaign against Lilit to drive her from Cropers Wood and
possibly even to destroy her. So great was my hatred and
fear that I was blind to reason. I concocted wild
theories and demanded immediate action. Anyone that stood
in my way I saw as a fool or an enemy.







It was during this time that I fell in love with Luet. I
met her on a hunt on Ash Island. She had only just
arrived in Cropers Wood and was still weak, but she was
beautiful and sweet and when I was with her my heart
began to heal from the loss of Dianus. She helped me to
feel joy once more. We got married quickly, she asked me
and I was as eager as her so we ran at once to the Chapel
and made it official.



On our Wedding night though Luet was nervous and upset
about something. She told me then that before she came to
Cropers Wood she was on the path to become a Priestess of
the Nox Sorora. Something terrible had happened that she
could not tell me about that interrupted her initiation
though. But now she is seeking to join the Nox Sorora
chapter herein Cropers Wood. In fact, she came to Cropers
Wood in search of them.



I was shocked by this news. I did not know what to do. I
loved Luet, but I was afraid of the Nox Sorora and hated
Lilit. I was so torn inside by love and hate that i just
did not know what to do. I did not know anything anymore.
How could Luet be involved with the Nox Sorora if they
were evil? What did i really know about the Nox Sorora? I
had so many questions and so few answers.



As i was passing through town, my thoughts turned in
ward, trying to make sense of my inner turmoil, I heard
music playing and it caught my attention. The music was
soothing and gave me some release from my torment.
Looking up, I saw that it was Lorian playing. Normally I
would have avoided Lorian because of her friendship with
Lilit, but that I did not. I sat near her and listened
until the song was done. I applauded loudly and asked her
to play more. She was happy to play for she enjoyed being
appreciated. Her music was wondrous to hear. I remember
it even now and it makes me sad that I shall never hear
it again.



When she had played for a while I began to talk to her
more. I told her I had written a song of my own recently
and wondered if she would play it. She agreed to play it
for me and after she had finished playing it, told me
that it was a very nice song. At the time I was thinking
of becoming a bard so I was happy to hear this. That is
how I began my friendship with Lorian.



And so, when I found myself alone with Lorian, both of us
fallen on Noth, I decided to tell her about my dilemma.
After I told her everything I asked her if she would
teach me more about the Nox Sorora so that I would know
more about what Luet was getting into. She agreed.



On the first meeting she told me that if I wanted her to,
she could try to determine if I was chosen. She explained
that if it turned out that I was chosen then it would
affect the nature of our meetings and it would give me a
choice to follow my calling or refuse it. I agreed to let
her do the test. Unfortunately we only met one more time
before her death. But the test results were still there.
I knew that I was called and I knew that I would follow
my call to become a Gens Dea.







And that is how I began my journey. Since then much has
happened but those stories will be told later.









 

Boingy Boingy Boingy

 
"I am Halfling.
We are the clever, neither strong nor tall, nor overly
skilled at Magic. We are the curious, the ingenious, the
solver of riddles. Openers of things left closed and
finders of things not yet lost. Small we may be as others
account such, but steadfast and enduring, perhaps the
equal of the Dwarven are we in this. What we lack in
power we make up with skill and accuracy and dexterity."


Fond
of simple jests at all times; We are particularly
fond of "Tickle-fights" and will continue to
torment our opponents until they beg for mercy or wet
their pants. We are generally reserved when around the
taller races, and will only relax when everyone is
seated; The reason for this is not because we are
intimidated by the 'Big Folk', it is because we hate
being stepped on!


We
are however, generally quite at ease around Gor'Togs for
some unknown reason, and it is not at all uncommon to see
a couple hanging about (usually outside because they
won't fit in the Door) Halfling functions and Partys. 

Togs are considered to make the best opponents for 
"Tickle-Fights".
Because they become as fierce as we do during "battle"
it is common to see a weeping Tog carrying a bloodied
Halfling to the infimary. It is also common to see the
two drinking heavily together (usually with the Tog
paying) afterward.


We
can make many useful as well as beautiful things. Most
Olvi look at "Whittling" (as we call it) or
Carving (as you may call it) as a social activity and
enjoy having others around to talk to as we "Whittle
Wood". However, we generally have little desire for
the making or working of Magical or Mechanical Devices,
and tend to spend our time carving Ornate Walking Canes,
Fancy Smoking Pipes, or Decorative, yet functional,
Children's Toys.


We
have a fancy for dressing in strong colors and are Fond
of yellows, greens, purples, reds, and blues; The
brighter the better is the common theme when it comes to
clothing. We are generally hospitable and take
exceptional delight in parties, and in presents, which we
give away freely and eagerly accept. 


A
Note Of Warning For The Big Folk:

Do not underestimate a Halfling! We can be very
quick and clever when we must, hiding from 'the Big Folk'
(Human, Elves, Tog's, S'kraa, Elothian) as if by magic. 


Although
there are Halfling settlements, Throughout the Realms (RiverHaven
Halfling Quarter), Arthe Dale is the home of Halflings.
Although there are a few Cottages most Olvi prefer to
live in Knolls. Knolls are created by digging Holes in
the sides of the hills;


"Not
a nasty, Dirty, wet hole filled with the ends of worms,

Nor yet a dry, sandy hole with nothing in it to sit down
on or to eat:

They are Halfling-Knolls, and that means Comfort."


A
Halfling's knoll is his Castle and is a direct measure of
his social status in his community.








 

The Race that Simu
Built

 
Halflings are short
(3' to 4'), free-spirited folk who are quick and light of
foot, and especially known for their curiosity. While not
strong or known for being able to keep to one subject for
long, the Halflings make up for this in their incredible
reflexes and agility, and surprisingly good stamina. {1}


Common
appearance: Male and Female.

Good-natured rather than beautiful. Broad, bright-eyed,
red-cheeked with mouths apt to laughter.

We Halflings have long and nimble fingers, with which we
can make many clever things. Puzzles, Toys, and Hand-Carved
Smoking-Pipes to name just a few.

We are smaller than Dwarves, less stout and stocky,
although not much shorter. We range from Three to Four
feet in height, and Halflings over Four feet are Extremely
Rare to see.

Halflings know well the pleasures of fine Food and Drink
and this is evidenced in our, generally, rather rotund
appearance. 
Halfling
feet! Halfling feet are hairy, thick skinned and they
are quite the source of pride for our race.

It is considered a Curse of Grave consquence to wish
Matted Foot Hair upoun a Halfling and Normally we would
rather twist in the wind at the end of a rope than wear
shoes.

This is a racial preference that is passed down to each
generation and is re-enforced in early childhood. So much
so, that attempts by non-Olvi Headmasters to force their
pupils to wear shoes while in school, have ended in
failure. Headmasters in this situation quickly resign and
are never heard from again. Personally, Me believe we
need to stop hiring non-olvi to teach our youngins anyway.
 

Halflings are a hard-working race of peaceful citizens.
Their communities are similar to those of humans,
although they usually contain many burrow homes in
addition to surface cottages.


        Halflings average 3 feet
in height, have ruddy complexions, with sandy to dark
brown hair, and blue or hazel eyes. Their dress is often
colorful but serviceable, and they like to wear caps or
tunics. In addition to their own language, many halflings
also speak the common tongue, gnome, goblin, and orcish.




Combat:


Halflings will fight with great ferocity in defense of
good or their homes. They are very skilled with both the
sling and the bow and use these weapons to great
advantage in battle. Their tactics often involve feints
to draw their attackers into the open where they can be
subjected to a volley of fire from cover.


Cheerful and outgoing, halflings, take great pleasure
in simple crafts and nature. Their fingers, though short,
are very dexterous allowing them to create objects of
great beauty. Halflings shun water and extremes in
temperature, preferring to settle in temperate pastoral
countrysides. They get along well with humans.




Ecology:


Halflings hunt occasionally, but prefer breads,
vegetables and fruits, with an occasional pheasant on the
side. They have a life expectancy of 100 years on the
average.




Tallfellow


A taller (4'+) and slimmer halfling with fair skin and
hair, tallfellows are somewhat rare among the halfling
folk. Tallfellows generally speak the language of elves
in addition to those listed previously and greatly enjoy
their company. They live 180 years on average.




Stout


These halflings are shorter and stockier than the more
common hairfoots. Stouts take great pleasure in gems and
fine masonry, often working as jewelers or stone cutters.
They rarely mix with humans and elves, but enjoy the
company of dwarves and often speak their language
fluently. Like dwarves, stouts have infravision.Their
ties with the dwarven folk have spilled over into their
combat tactics, with many stouts employing hammers and
morningstars in combat. Stouts also have no fear of water
and, in fact, many are excellent swimmers. Stouts can
reach an age of 140 or more years. 



Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really
want,

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want,

I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want,

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want,

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, 

I wanna really, really, really wanna mosh your team!



If you want to fight us, my side kicks ass,

If you wanna ditch with us, better make it fast,

Now don't go wasting our precious time,

Get your naginata, we could be just fine



I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want,

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want,

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, 

I wanna really, really, really wanna mosh your team!



If you wanna be a Warlord, you gotta fight like Sir Leif,

Swing your sword like Vaargard, he's good, you better
believe!

If you wanna be a Warlord, you have got to swing,

Sloughing pisses me off, but that's the way it is.



Whatcha think about that, now you know how I swing,

Say you can handle my shots, are you for real?

I won't be lofty, I'll give you a chance,

If you really bug me then I'll mosh your ass.



Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really
want,

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want,

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, 

I wanna really, really, really wanna mosh your team!



If you wanna be a Warlord, you gotta fight like Sir Lief,

Swing your sword like Vaargard, he's good, you better
believe!

If you wanna be a Warlord, you have got to swing,

Sloughing pisses me off, but that's the way it is.



So here's a story from A to Z, 

You wanna ditch with me, you gotta listen carefully,

We got Guy in the place who throws it in your face,

We got Aramithris who rests it on his knee,

Oreo doesn't come for free, she's a real lady,

And as for me, ah, you'll see,

Slam your pokey down and whip it all around

Slam your pokey down and whip it all around



If you wanna be a Warlord, you gotta fight like Sir Lief,

Swing your sword like Vaargard, he's good, you better
believe!

If you wanna be a Warlord, you have got to swing,

Sloughing pisses me off, but that's the way it is.



If you wanna be a Warlord, you gotta, you gotta, you
gotta,

you gotta, you gotta, slam, slam, slam, slam

Slam your pokey down and whip it all around.

Slam your pokey down and whip it all around.

Slam your pokey down and whip it all around.

Slam your pokey down and mosh on their team!

If you wanna be a Warlord......





 
Wet site wet site, dry sites I won't attend 

Wet site wet site, beer bashes without an end

Wet site wet site, but this one boils my blood

I knew this was a wet site, but I didn't expect a flood. 
If you read event announcements

They tell you what to expect

Dry means no booze 

Damp means be circumspect

Wet means no restrictions 

You can drink and pass out in the mud

But when they said this was a wet site, I didn't expect a
flood. 
Wet site, wet site, this rain is getting me down

Wet site, wet site, my tent is six feet down

Wet site, wet site, I forgot my scuba gear

When they said this site was wet, I thought they were
taking about beer. 
The fighters are using snorkles

For the tourney must go on 

Their armor is rusting solid

But with valor they fight on

There's no sign of the rain stopping soon

There's now a lake on the lawn

When they said it was a wet site, I thought it meant
drinking until dawn 
Wet site, wet site, I'm no longer feeling nice

Wet site, wet site, it's time for a sacrifice

Wet site, wet site, it's the Autocrat that we blame

And if we can get some dry wood, let's send him into the
flame. 
 

SCOTLAND'S DEPRAVED
-Bertram of Bearington (Tune: "There Were Three
Bonnie Lassies, Came from the Isle of Wight") (nb:
"Wearin' O' the Green" works, too) There was a
bonnie lassie, and she had brothers three; She did love a
foreign lord, who came from Coventry. Her brothers did
not like this and they told her to her face, "We're
fearful, bonnie sister, the family you'll disgrace. For
you're a highborn Scottish lass, of noble highland birth,
And we don't think no foreign laird can give you what
you're worth!" She said, "He is a valiant lord
- he'll show you what he's got, You'll see the stuff he's
made of - he'll out-Scottish any Scot!" "We'll
set him tests of honor," the brothers they declared,
"And if he canna do them, we'll surely know he's
scared, In fact we clearly doubt that he'll escape from
them alive, And so we'll set the contest - the trials
will be five." The first contest was golfing, in
which the lord did fine. He killed a dozen hedgehogs
while shooting the back nine. He double-bogied every
hole, his ball went wide and far, But when they counted
hedgehogs, they found he'd broken par! The second one was
piping, in which he held his own, He outdid all the
brothers, for on and on he'd drone. He kept his pipes
a'skirlin' 'til they all were out of breath, The reason -
not his diaphragm - it's just that he's tone deaf! The
next trial was sword dancing - with bare feet & bare
sword, And in this painful trial, he proved a mighty lord.
"Good brothers I don't understand - you said this
would be hard! They made me wear my armor when I learned
to galliard!" The fourth contest was drinking, the
knight showed them his stuff. He chug-a-lugged from six
more jugs when they had cried, "Enough!" He
planned to take the excess home, he put it in a pail...
"It makes a welcome change," he said, "from
luke-warm English ale!" The fifth and final contest,
this valiant knight was told, Was to eat a hag-gis [pause]
while it was still COLD! The knight he ate a score of
them, he said "Good friends come here. I'll have
another score, but - this time with Worcestershire!"
When the trials were over, her kin said "Sister
dear, Though he has won the contest, you may not wed, we
fear. For when we were out golfing, he proved his mind's
unsound. The man, he must be crazy, he loaned me half a
crown!" "Begone you silly spendthrift, to you I
won't be wed. The way you throw your gold around, you
must have lost your head!" The knight he quit the
highlands and returned to Coventry, The lass she wed a
highland man, kept Scottish lovers, three. Thus it goes
in Scottish lands, the sexes both are bawds, Where half
of them are bastards, and all of them tightwads! This
tale is nearly over and I'm singin' on one lung, But to
conclude the moral, at last it must be sung... CLOSING (to
the tune of "Scotland the Brave") O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-h,
(sound like a set of pipes starting up) (1) Scotland it
is the land, please (2) Baa baa baa baa baa baa baa For
lusty lairds and lassies, Baa baa baa baa baa baa baa
Though England may be moral Though England may be moral
SCOTLAND'S DEPRAVED! SCOTLAND'S DEPRAVED! 

SCOTLAND THE BRAVE
Hark when the night is fallin', hear, hear the pipes a-callin'
Loudly and proudly callin' down thru the glen There where
the hills are sleepin', now feel the blood a-leapin' High
as the spirits of the old highland men! Towering in
gallant fame, Scotland the mountain hame! High may your
proud standards gloriously wave! Land of the high
endeavour, land of the shining river, Land of my heart,
forever, Scotland the brave! High in the misty highlands,
out by the purple islands, Brave are the hearts that beat
beneath Scottish skies! Wild are the winds to meet you,
staunch are the friends that greet you Kind as the light
that shines from fair maiden's eyes! Towering in gallant
fame, Scotland, my mountain hame! High may your proud
standards gloriously wave! Land of the high endeavour,
land of the shining river, Land of my heart, forever,
Scotland the brave! Far-off in sunlit places, sad are the
Scottish faces, Yearnin' t'feel the kiss of sweet
Scottish rain! Where tropic skies are beamin', love sets
the heart a-dreamin', Longin' and dreamin' for the
homeland again! Towering in gallant fame, Scotland, my
mountain hame! High may your proud standards gloriously
wave! Land of the high endeavour, land of the shinin'
river, (lousy weather) Land of my heart, forever,
Scotland the brave! Hot as a burning ember, flaming in
bleak December Burning within the hearts of clansmen afar!
Calling to home and fire, calling the sweet desire,
Shining a light that beckons from every star! Towering in
gallant fame, Scotland, my mountain hame! High may your
proud standards gloriously wave! Land of the high
endeavour, land of the shining river, Land of my heart,
forever, Scotland the brave! 

TRY A MINSTREL
-Andregor Starseeker (Tune: unknown) Don't follow a
warrior with armour that shines His attention's for
fighting first, second for wine You'll haul armour to
please him and polish it fine When you want your reward,
he'll be snoring like swine! CHORUS: But a minstrel is
gentle, his touch it is light He knows how to entertain
throughout the night! He's never too tired, or too
bruised from a fight! A minstrel's quick tongue can make
you feel right! Don't chase after a married man, 'twill
soon make you tear You'll be stuck in the closet when his
lady is near When the challenge is gone, you'll be dumped
on your ear But a minstrel can help you restore your good
cheer! Don't service a King, it's like fighting the air!
With a Kingdom to rule, you're the -least- of his cares!
His Throne and his glory won't be yours to share, And
you're -dead- if you bring him an unscheduled heir! Don't
sleep with the nobles, unless you've no pride, They've
one place for a woman, and that is inside! From cooking
and cleaning, you'll soon want to hide Till a minstrel
does find you and away you will ride! Don't sleep with a
Viking, let me tell you why: Their swords are all rusty,
their bed's never dry, They'll leave for a year in the
wink of an eye, And you know they're not lonely when
docking time's nigh! Stay away from the rich men, they
act just like boys You'll never be more than just one of
their toys! They'll cast you aside if you make too much
noise A minstrel's soft caring is the sweetest of joys! 

WILLIE MACINTOSH
(The Burning of Auchendown) (Child 183) recorded by
the Silly Sisters As I cam by Fidduch-side, on a May
morning, I spied Willie Macintosh, and hour before the
dawning: Turn again, turn again, turn again I bid ye! If
ye burn Auchendown, Huntley he will heid ye! Hunt me or
heid me, that sall never fear me! I sall burn Auchendown
before the life leaves me! As I cam in by Auchendown, on
a May morning, Auchendown was in a blaze, an hour before
the dawning! Crawing, crawing, for a' your crowse crawing...
Ye brunt your crop and tint your wings an hour before the
dawning! 

YA GOT TROUBLE (RIGHT HERE IN
CALAFIA)
-Lloyd ap Taliesin y Felinfoel Copyright (C) 1991,
James Woodyatt Savagely filked [without remorse] from the
Music Man (Insert the name of any four syllable barony
with an attitude problem) Well, either you are closing
your eyes to a situation you do not wish to acknowledge,
Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster...
indicated by the presence of a beer tavern in your
community. Well, ya got trouble my friends, I say trouble
right here in Calafia. Why sure I'm a storyteller, I'm
always mighty proud, I say I'm mighty proud to say it. I
consider that the hours I've spent in front of a crowd
are golden... Helped me cultivate horse sense, and a cool
head and a keen eye. Ya ever try to give an iron clad
leave to yourself from a royal command performance? But
just as I say it takes judgement, brains and maturity to
get a harp argent for singing sixteenth century sea
shanties, I say that any boob... Can get drunk and murder
the lyrics to a Broadway showtune... And I call that
sloth. And the first big step on the road to the depths
of degrada[tion]... I say first... medicinal wine from a
teaspoon, then beer from a keg. And the next thing you
know your son's singing filks and wearing a cavalier hat,
And listening to some egotistical Norman, here to tell
all about country dancing, Not a wholesome courtly dance,
No!, but a dance where you actually touch your partner's
hands. Ya like to see some big, ugly Welshman drooling on
Your daughter's arm, make your blood boil, well I should
say... Now friends, let me tell you what I mean... Ya got
one, two, five, ten, fifteen, twenty ounces in a pint.
Ounces that mark the difference between a nobleman and a
tinker, With a capital 'T', and that rhymes with 'B', and
that stands for Beer. And all week long your Calafian
youth'll be piddling away, I say your young men'll be
piddling.... Piddling away their noon-time, supper-time,
chore-time too, Just get the beer in the tankard Never
mind getting the dandelions pulled, the tent flap patched
or the beefsteak pounded. Never mind hauling any water
'til you parents are caught with the dishes all dirty on
a Saturday night And that's trouble. Oh, yes we've got
lots and lots trouble I'm thinking of smalls in their
little clothes, shirt tail young ones, peeking in the
tavern window after sundown Trouble! Folks! Right here in
Calafia! Gotta find a way to keep the young ones moral
after all. Now, I know all you folk are the right kind of
parents, So I'll be perfectly frank with you. Would you
like to know what sort of conversation goes on when
they're loafin' around that tavern? They'll be puttin'
down Guinness; they'll be puttin' down Blackbush;
Drinking that Connemara Dew like alcohol fiends! And
braggin' all about how they're gonna cover up a telltale
breath with a bit of raw clove, One fine night, they
leave the tavern, headed for the dance in Bedlam,
Libertine men and scarlet women and belly dancing with
shameless music That will grab your son, your daughter,
in the arms of a jungle animal instinct. Mass hysteria!
Friends, the idle brain is the devils playground, Trouble!
(Oh! We got trouble!) Right here in Calafia! (Right here
in Calafia!) Trouble with a capital 'T', and that rhymes
with 'B', and that stands for Beer. (That stands for beer!)
Oh yes, we've got trouble. (Our children have got trouble!)
Right here in Calafia! (Right here!) Remember the code of
chivalry and the golden rule. Mothers of Calafia. Heed
this warning before it's too late. Watch for the telltale
signs of corruption. When your son leaves the pavilion,
does he roll his sleeves up above the elbow? Is there a
disgusting sludge in the bottom of his tankard that looks
like it came from an Exxon spill? Is there a book of
Irish folk songs hidden under his pillow? Is he starting
to memorize jokes, and one-liners that the peerage would
never approve of? Are certain ideas creeping into his
mind? Ideas like, "Who cares if I never get an award....
ever." And, "The king's an idiot!" Aha!
And, "Big deal if I get banished!" Well, if so
my friends, You got trouble! (Oh! We got trouble!) Right
here in Calafia! (Right here in Calafia!) That drink with
water and the barley and the hops is the devils tool. (The
devil's tool.) Yes, we've got trouble, trouble, trouble.
(Our children have got big, big trouble.) With a capital
'T', (With a capital 'T') And that rhymes with 'B', (And
that rhymes with 'B') And that stands for Beer. (That
stands for beer!) 

YESTERDAY
-Saavogg Haraldsson Yesterday...all my troubles seemed
so far away Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday.... Suddenly...I'm not half
the man I used to be There's a shadow hanging over me Oh,
yesterday came suddenly! Why he had to strike squarely
there, he wouldn't say Right between my knees; how I long
for yesterday! Yesterday...love was such an easy game to
play Now I have to look the other way I believe in
yesterday! Yesterday...ladies were so easy to impress Now
I need an icy cold compress! I believe in yesterday! 

OAK, ASH, AND THORN
-Rudyard Kipling Of all the trees that grow so fair
Old England to adorn, Greater are none beneath the Sun
Than Oak, and Ash, and Thorn. Sing Oak, and Ash, and
Thorn, good sirs, (All of a Midsummer's morn!) Surely we
sing of no little thing In Oak, and Ash, and Thorn.
CHORUS: Sing Oak, and Ash, and Thorn, good sirs, (All of
a Midsummer's morn!) Surely we sing of no little thing In
Oak, and Ash, and Thorn. Oak of the clay lived many a day
Or ever Aeneas began. Ash of the Loam was a lady at home
When Brut was an outlaw man. Thorn of the Down saw New
Troy Town (From which was London born); Witness hereby
the ancientry Of Oak, and Ash, and Thorn. Yew that is old
in churchyard-mould He breedeth a mighty bow, Alder for
shoes do wise men choose And beech for cups also. But
when ye have killed, and your bowl is spilled And your
shoes are clean outworn Back ye must speed for all that
ye need To Oak, and Ash, and Thorn. Ellum she hateth
mankind, and waiteth Till every gust be laid To drop a
limb on the head of him That anyway trusts her shade. But
whether a lad be sober or sad, Or mellow with ale from
the horn, He will take no wrong when he lieth along
'Neath Oak, and Ash, and Thorn. Oh, do not tell the
Priest our plight, Or he would call it a sin; But-we have
been out in the woods all night, A-conjuring Summer in!
And we bring you news by word of mouth- Good news for
cattle and corn- Now is the Sun come up from the South
With Oak, and Ash, and Thorn! Sing Oak, and Ash, and
Thorn, good sirs (All of a Midsummer's morn)! England
shall bide 'till Judgment Tide By Oak, and Ash, and Thorn!


THE MINSTREL BOY
-Thomas More The minstrel boy to the war is gone In
the ranks of death you'll find him. His father's sword he
has girded on His wild harp slung behind him. "Land
of song," sang the warrior bard, "Tho all the
world betrays ye, One sword at least thy rights shall
guard, One faithful harp shall praise thee." The
minstrel fell, but the foeman's chains could not keep his
proud soul under. The harp he bore ne'er spoke again For
he tore its cords asunder... And said "No chains
shall sully thee, Thou soul of love and bravery, Thy
songs were made for the pure and free, They ne'er shall
sound in slavery." 

IN MIDDLE EARTH
-John Painter (Tune: "Penny Lane") In Middle
Earth there is a tavern on the Eastern Road. There
travelers will find its tables full of cheer. And when
the innkeeper brings the beer, He may lend an ear. In
Middle Earth well hidden deep in the Old Forest's trees
Tom Bombadil maintains a house of cobbled stone To which
he brings Goldberry home From the River's edge -- to his
bed. Middle Earth beneath the stars below the Sun Where
the seedling of Telperion is planted: Elsewhere back In
Middle Earth there is a Hobbit in a Hobbit-hole. He keeps
it clean although it's dug into the ground. And though he
spends a lot of time in town, Still he's been around. In
Middle Earth there is a wizard with a staff of oak. His
flowing beard is colored like new-fallen snow. His
fireworks light up the fields below, And his smoke-rings
glow. Middle Earth beneath the stars below the Sun A
wonder where the northland waters run ere Sunlight
Elsewhere back In Middle Earth a wizard smokes his pipe
contentedly. We see a Hobbit walking, humming, to the inn.
And then old Bombadil rushes in From the River's edge --
to his bed. Middle Earth beneath the stars below the Sun
Where the seedling of Telperion is planted..... Middle
Earth beneath the stars below the Sun A wonder where the
northland waters run ere Sunlight.... (fade ad lib) 

COLD IRON
-Rudyard Kipling Gold is for the Mistress, Silver for
the Maid Copper for the Craftsman, cunning at his trade
"Good", cried the Baron, sitting in his Hall,
But Iron, Cold Iron, is the Master of them all. So he
made rebellion, `gainst the King his Liege Camped before
his citadel and summoned it to siege "Nay",
said the Cannnoneer on the castle wall, But Iron, Cold
Iron, shall be Master of you all. Woe for the Baron and
his knights so strong When the cruel cannonballs laid
them all along He was taken prisoner, he was cast in
thrall, And Iron, Cold Iron, was the Master over all. Yet
his King spake kindly, ah, how kind a Lord What if I
release thee now and give thee back thy sword "Nay",
said the Baron, mock not at my fall, For Iron, Cold Iron,
is the Master of men all. Tears are for the craven,
prayers are for the clown Halters for the silly neck that
cannot keep a Crown As my loss is grievous, so my hope is
small, For Iron, Cold Iron, must be Master of men all.
Yet his King made answer, few such Kings there be Here is
bread and here is wine, now sit and sup with me Eat and
drink in Mary's Name, while I do recall, How Iron, Cold
Iron, can be Master of men all. He took the wine and
blessed it, he blessed and broke the bread With his own
hands he served them, and presently he said See these
Hands they pierced with nails, outside My city wall, Show
Iron, Cold Iron, to be Master of men all. Wounds are for
the desperate, blows are for the strong Balm and oil for
weary hearts, all cut and bruised with wrong I forgive
thy treason, I redeem thy Fall, For Iron, Cold Iron, must
be Master of men all. Crowns are for the valiant,
scepters for the bold Thrones and power for mighty men,
who dare to take and hold "Nay", said the
baron, kneeling in His Hall, But Iron, Cold Iron, is the
Master of men all. Iron out of Calvary, is the Master of
men all 

THE COURT SONG
-Aed of Avingdor Well I went to an event about a
couple of months back I had myself a good time. Fighting
and playing, flirting with the girls At least the ones
who didn't mind. And after the day, and after the feast,
We all went off to the court. Then the herald got up, he
opened his mouth He said, "I think it's time to
start." Then he said: CHORUS: "Wanna wanna
wanna wanna wanna wanna wa." And I said, "Huh?"
And then the King said "Wanna wanna wanna wanna
wanna wanna wa." And I said, "Huh?" And my
friend said, "What did he say?" I said, "Hey,
I don't know, how 'bout you?" And then the Queen
said "Wanna wanna wanna wanna wa." And we all
said, "Huh?" Well we all sat there in the back
of the room We tried to make the best of our plight.
Folks got up, they all got scrolls, It really was a
wonderful sight. And there were folks that we knew, and
some who we don't But for our group it was a good day.
And then the herald got up, he opened his mouth And this
is what I heard him say. Then he said: Well a friend of
mine from the front of the room Yelled "Hey stupid!
They just called you!" I got up, I went to the front
But I didn't know what I should do. Well the herald
helped out, and the King and the Queen Were real nice as
they gave me my scroll. When I got back I said, "Did
you hear?" But my friends they had to be told. Cause
they heard: Now I still go to events, I have a good time
And I flirt with what ladies I can. And after the day,
and after the feast, I go off to court with a plan. Yes I
still sit in the back, I have a good chat And I talk
about the fun of the day. Cause whatever the night, it's
always in sight But this is all I hear them say.........
Yes, they say: 

CHASTITY BELT
-Anonymous Oh say, gentle maiden, may I be your lover
Condemn me no longer to mourn and to weep Struck down
like a hart, I lie wounded and fainting So let down your
drawbridge, I'll enter your keep CHORUS: Enter your keep,
nonnie nonnie Enter your keep, nonnie nonnie Let down
your drawbridge, I'll enter your keep Alas, gentle
errant, I am not a maiden I'm married to Sir Oswald the
cunning old Celt He's gone to the wars for a twelve-month
or longer And taken the key to my chastity belt Fear not
gentle maiden for I know a locksmith To his forge we will
go, on his door we will knock And try to avail us of his
specialised knowledge And see if he's able to unpick the
lock Alas, sir and madam, to help I'm unable My technical
knowledge is of no avail I can't find the secret to your
combination The cunning old bastard has fitted a Yale I'm
back from the wars with sad news of disaster A terrible
mishap I have to confide As my ship was passing the
Straits of Gibralter I carelessly dropped the key over
the side Alas and alack I am locked up forever When up
steps a page-boy, says "Leave it to me" If you
will allow me to enter your chamber I'll open it up with
my duplicate key 

DEATH AND THE LADY
As I walked forth one day, one day I met an old man by
the way His head was bald and his beard was grey His
clothing made of the cold earth and clay His clothing
made of the cold earth and clay I said "Old man,
what man are you? What country do you belong to?"
"My name is Death, as heard of me All kings and
princes bow down unto me All kings and princes bow down
unto me" "My name is Death, can not you see
Lords, Dukes and Ladies bow down unto me And you are one
of those branches three And you fair maid must come along
with me And you fair maid must come along with me"
I'll give you gold and jewels so rare I'll give you
costly rich robes to wear I'll give you the combs that
hold my hair If you will let me live but another short
year If you will let me live but another short year Fair
Lady lay your robes aside No longer glory in your pride
And now sweet maid make no delay Your time has come and
you must away Your time has come and you must away On
that same night this fair maid died And on her tombstone
these words enscribed Here lies a poor distress-ed maid
By Death so cruelly she was betrayed By Death so cruelly
she was betrayed 

THE RIDDLE SONG 
-15th century music by John Rutter I have a young
sister far beyond the sea And many be the dowries that
she sent me She sent me a cherry withouten any stone And
so she did the dove withouten any bone She sent me a
briar withouten any rind She bade me love my lemman
without longing Now how can any cherry be without stone
And how can any dove be withouten bone How can there be a
briar withouten any rind And how can I love my lemman
without longing? When the cherry was a flower, then had
it no stone When the dove was an egg, then had it no bone
When the briar was onbred, then had it no rind When the
maiden has that she loveth, she is without longing 

FROM THE TOMB
-H.P. Lovecraft Come hither my lads with your tankards
of ale And drink to the present before it shall fail Pile
each on your platter a mountain of beef For 'tis eating
and drinking that brings us relief So fill up your glass
For life will soon pass When you're dead you'll ne'er
drink to your King or your lass! Anacreon had a red nose,
so they say But what's a red nose if you're happy and
gay? Gad split me! I'd rather be red while I'm here Than
white as a lily - and dead half a year! So Betty, my miss
Come and give me a kiss! In Hell there's no innkeeper's
daughter like this! Young Harry, propped up just as
straight as he's able Will soon lose his wig and slip
under the table But fill up your goblets and pass them
around Better under the table than under the ground! So
revel and chaff As ye thirstily quaff Under six feet of
dirt 'tis easy to laugh! The fiend strike me blue! I'm
scarce able to walk! And damn me if I can stand upright
or talk! Here. landlord, bid Betty to summon a chair I'll
try home for a while, for my wife is not there! So lend
me a hand I'm not able to stand But I'm gay whilst I
linger on top of the land! 

PIRATE FLAG RISING 
Words: David Weingart 1993 Music: "Bad Moon
Rising" (Creedence Clearwater Revival) I see the
pirate flag rising, I see trouble on the way Check out
that ship on the horizon, I think we'd better start to
pray CHORUS: Don't get caught tonight, for they're bound
to take our lives There are pirates on the rise I see
that skull and crossbones flowing, I think our end is
coming soon I see those cutlasses a-glowing, I hear the
cannons going BOOM! CHORUS Let's try and get those guns
together, I just am not prepared to die Fighting for all
our lives together, there are pirates on the rise CHORUS 

AN ASSASSIN'S LOT
Words: Roger Burton-West Music: Sir Arthur Sullivan, /A
Policeman's Lot/ (from /The Pirates of Penzance/) Date:
17 October, 1994 Spoken: It is most distressing to us to
be the agents whereby our fellow-creatures are deprived
of that vitality which is so dear to all -- /but we
should have thought of that before we joined the guild/.
When the dragon's not a-lying on his money (on his money)
Or plotting how to reave a town or two (town or two) He
prefers to bask on ledges where it's sunny (where it's
sunny) And to poison him seems very cruel to do (cruel to
do) Even vampires can be kindly to their mothers (to
their mothers) Though we often have to stake them in the
sun (in the sun) And taking one consideration with
another (with another) An assassin's lot is not a happy
one (happy one) With than-atogenic duty to be done (to be
done) An assassin's lot is not a happy one (happy one)
When the paladin's not slaying orcs and liches (orcs and
liches) Or trashing evil temples by the score (by the
score) He often may go fishing under bridges (under
bridges) Where a dagger's blade makes sure he slays no
more (slays no more) When the necromancer resurrects his
brother (-ects his brother) Killing both of them is
rarely any fun (any fun) And taking one consideration
with another (with another) An assassin's lot is not a
happy one (happy one) With than-atogenic duty to be done
(to be done) An assassin's lot is not a happy one (happy
one) 
 

 
Lisanara's Songs archive:


These are a few of the songs I had written for my bard
character that was in everquest. She was a member of the
Soerbaird and gave concerts across the server of Fennis
Ro. The first songs were for creatures of light, the last
ones were darker. Some songs are just too horrible to
even write here and some here are plain bad, so I hope
their's a few of them you'll like after reading most of
them. 
Ode to a Friend 
Listen my Lord, to the tale I shall
sing, 

Of a friend of trees,,, 

He taugh me a song, that made me so long, 

To sway away into the breeze. 
His notes in my mind, dost he helped me
to find, 

Happiness in memories,,, 

His dance was enchanting, like the the song he was
chanting, 

The fire in my heart was at ease. 
His crest of the Dragon, as blue as the
night, 

Flying away with my dreams, 

He helped me to fight, brought the demons to light, 

He was an angel so it seems. 
Into the dark, he would play all his
art, 

The Fairies would listen to his voice of the heart, 

His elven passion would rise up and sing, 

The lores of the trees and the distant fighting, 
He chanted so higher, climbing love's
lost Spiral, 

the beauty of FayDwer dizzling around, 

The flowers all bloomed by the notes of his soul, 

The forest will forever 

echo his gentle sound... 

  
Blue Dragon Tale 
Glittering Sun of distant past 

rememberance time of old, 

The age of scales that hadn't last 

stories of dragons be told. 
Flying high into azure skies 

sores proudly wings of blue, 

Heading into the sun that dies 

searching the land without a clue. 
His proud kingdom is in turmoil 

a huge red will take his lands, 

With this conflict, his blood boils 

clouds gathers in roving bands. 
Beconing among Veeshan's brood 

he will hold his field with firm, 

He asks them to witness this intrude 

a great battle of the Wyrms. 
Scales of blue, Blood of red 

claws does strikes with chilling death, 

Soul will die, Abyss be fed 

foe's last hatred is all that's left. 
Wars does start with gods of new 

the proud dragons had been fools, 

Races springs from hidden yew 

their own wars was but their tools. 
Now their fate hangs in balance 

against creations of Gods, 

Held in hands vigilant lance 

ready to fight the odds. 
Great blue dragon lead the way 

fighting against these creatures, 

Many races joined the fray 

including elven archers. 
Shrilling arrows pierced the skin 

blood spews forth above the head, 

Enraged dragon consumed by sin 

fields of red from bodies bled. 
Ruby red his scales have turned 

showing his inner fury, 

Gone is the respect he earned 

condemned in its memory. 
After death of Dragons old 

and that of young so bold, 

His soul Innoruuk does hold 

waiting for time foretold. 
And now in this present day 

the dragon's soul has awaken, 

To his former self we pray 

to free his dying tekken. 
Rememberance time of old 

in the youth of Time of Scales, 

When his soul was pure as gold, 

We sing the Blue Dragon's tale... 

  
The coming of Day

The sun shines on the great trees 

The morning dew nourishes their gentle souls, 

The night’s shadow slowly flees 

To the safety of dark distant holes. 
As the sun beckons the light 

A gentle breeze wakes to caress the skin, 

We forget last night’s fright 

As we slowly wash away our sin. 
In the moonlight we were free 

To our hidden passions so divine, 

But in haste we lost the key 

That had imprisoned darkness’ vine. 
In its place we have laid 

A balance of night and day, 

For the day, darkness fades, 

In the night, evil preys. 
Now the sun rises again 

Chasing the nocturnal cloak, 

Bringing the night to an end 

By the light we are soak. 
What a grand event it is 

The rising of the sun, 

I swear to you, truly t’is 

Now it’s time for fun. 

  
Freeport 
Travel the land, lend thee a hand, 

Sail the open sea, 

See the beauty and harmony 

Of the port so free. 
Look at the sky, I wish I could fly, 

Fly away with me, 

Sleep with the clouds, don't speak so loud, 

Come dream with me. 
Powerful wizards, animal herds, 

This land of mystery, 

Flying the griffon watch for thy coffin, 

This place can be dreary. 
The wonderful market, please take a
ticket, 

Come watch the play of the tree, 

We'll bring you a tale, that we shall tell, 

Please come dance with me. 
Incredible guilds, that all so builds, 

Their names in history, 

This wonderful city, magic and pity, 

This is the land of Mystery..... 

  
Ode to Prexus 
All hail the sea king, 

for him we travel and we sing 
Look at his crashing waves, 

filled with rage and hidden caves 
Look over the side and do not hide, 

for the sea is beauty yet so hasty, 

if you'd fear the sounds you hear... 

Remember always that it's Prexus' tear 
Look up to the sunlit skies, 

looking at you with its eyes 
Sail on the many oceans, 

rocking you with its emotions 
It's time to dream my fine marine, 

so grab your gear and head to pier, 

this wet venture, such an adventure, 

Hoping not to face some sea creature. 
So set sail on the open sea, 

water as far as the eye can see 
There's treasures on these isles, 

even if you must travel many miles 
So All HAIL the lord Prexus, 

And sail on high on his great Nexus. 

  
Selo's Grace 
Wak up my young adventurer 

the world today is yours to play, 

Go forth my great explorer 

treasure are yours to find and prey 
Pick up your pack and all you lack 

provisions for the journey ahead, 

Put the sun onto your back 

travel the roades until you bed 
Come fly away on selo's grace 

if you don't know it, I'll give you the pace, 

Time to leave this wonderful place 

to feel the wind on your face 
The roads ahead are winding down 

you have to leave the beaten path, 

Ruins are waiting to be found 

across the lands of Norrath 
Travel the fields, forest and seas, 

height of the mountains soaring above, 

You'll see the beauty of all of these, 

you'll finally know what it means to love 
So until the sun slowly fades 

to your mind the wonders scream, 

the moon shines on forest of jades 

Now is time for you to dream. 

  
Waji and Andalus'
weeding. 
She is of aspen leaves in spring
sunlight 

rotes of knowledge that spawns across time, 

She has a genle smile of pure moonlight 

her voice dost echo like the clock's chime. 
he comes from the fury of crashing
waves 

of strong emotions and seafaring gaze, 

He traveled on ships to drank water caves 

but when he met her his life became haze. 
City of Qeynos is where he had docked 

lost in the maze of the city's streets, 

Silhouette of nature keep his eyes locked 

as she danced and sang of heroes feats. 
His heart dost pounded for her elven
grace 

for her beautiful music and exquisite taste, 

So did her's for his passionate embrace 

for his entrancing eyes she'd stare quickly in haste. 
Both of diffrent worlds yet with the
same joy 

a happiness between them deeper than words, 

Caressing eachother like a child's favorite toy 

as they listen to the chant of the evening birds. 
Both hearts as one at the end of the
day 

their lives bound together by a solemn vow, 

Tonight in bed together they lay 

To their good fortune I pray and I bow. 

  
Silverwynd 
Beauty of silver 

pure as gold, 

Kindness of platium 

and humble ten fold 
Story behind this name 

comes from time of old, 

with the birth of the elves 

from Tunare's mold 
First came the sun 

creating the bold, 

High elves of magic 

living in stone cold 
Then rised the moon 

took the sky in it's hold, 

Shining of silver 

of beauty untold 
Added the forest 

singing wind that rolled, 

off the back of the leaves 

the idea was sold 
Wood elf sprang 

from beauty they were pulled, 

singing sweet melodies 

of the world that unfold 
Tunare gave a name 

for the beauty they now hold, 

It would be Silverwynd 

in honor of their mold 
That is the story 

the one I just told, 

of the ancient name of bards 

a name that is never old. 

  
Vyjra, Mistress of
Neriak 
From within the gates of Neriak 

the mistress of darkness shimmers; 

no dark ambition or goal she lacks, 

as Norrath's fate grows dimmer. 
Widow Black as she is known, 

enthralling beauty of crimson night, 

and great discord she has sown 

with vicious murders by her might. 
Maelstrom eyes of inner strength 

engulfing fetters that possess, 

with dark embrace of lesser length 

the tasteful blood will degress. 
Sacred torture she would breed 

to feed her burning thirst; 

her only true celestial creed 

to command the dark accursed. 
She experiments on the living, 

seeking to wither their flesh; 

painful wailing like sorrowful singing, 

her victims caught in her mesh. 
Undead creatures twitch in wait, 

hollow shrills from companions cold; 

they all burn with desires hate, 

conditioned to the tempest's hold. 
To all good creatures I say Beware, 

for with her claws she would tear 

the warm skin you so proudly wear 

to experiment within her lair. 

Death you'll face if her eyes glare; 

beg forgiveness if you dare.... 
Lady Vyjra is Neriak's True Heir! 

  
Devir 
Burning soul of darkness' flame 

poisonned hatred marks the blame 

lover's kiss turns to ashes 

burns his skull cracked by bashes 
Father watches over son 

shining on him blackened sun 

going forth proclaming words 

making slaves of human herds 
Fighting wars with Freeport's knights 

blood would flow in holy sites 

broken bones will mark the fields 

where human lord finally yields 
Darkened skies of valley smoke 

burning brightly halfling folk 

druid wizard fails to heal 

as cold steel's sting they feel 
Tall elven tress they will kill 

they'll invade the dwraven hill 

destroying good elven magic 

to the light, it is tragic 
This their vision they would bring 

cut down life before the spring 

hatred's words is what they know 

so join them now and enjoy the show... 

  
Dark Embrace 
I sometimes ream of a love 

condemned by high above, 

to be held by dark strong arms 

the same that would bring down harm 
The nector and poison 

mixed together in your heart, 

your bittersweet prison 

the love and hate of true art 
You hold me tightly with your lips 

hypnotised by your eyes, 

place your hands upon my hips 

destroying all scared ties 
Push me down to the floor 

my heart burns by your cold touch, 

reaching into my core 

my love for you grows so much 
Holding me down with your words 

whisper lies in my ear, 

hearing you chant like the birds 

chasing away all my fears 
You're forcing me to say: 

*whispers* 

take me gently take me hard 

make me yours to obey 

force me to chant like a bard 

come to me where i lay 
I don't care about my race 

you're all I'll ever need, 

To all I'll be a disgrace 

false hope my heart you'll feed 
bite down into my neck 

drain my life and memories, 

My old dreams you will wreck 

put my fragile heart at ease 
Burning passion that I feel 

you are all that I want 

seaking to be your appeal 

in my dreams that you haunt 
Make me blind to all truth 

make this my reality 

take me back to my youth 

innocent's fatality 
This will be my only life 

in you I find my fate 

Cut me gently like a knife 

make me your only mate 
Only then will you look 

with an ounce of compassion 

and the hold it has took 

surrendering to passion 

  

  
But in the end I have won 

sadness my happiness 

for both of us live for fun 

you've killed my loneliness 
When I lie beside you 

in the stillness of the night 

I whisper I love you 

after an hour long fight 
Slowly your heart opens 

kindness unlocked and free 

untammed feelings like orphans 

slave to you and you to me 
I love you my wild dark spirit 

one we become with poison and merit.
 








 


The Olvi General Has
Nothing to Say here


This
is where to learns all abouts Smokings Cigars and Pipes.

Smokings is somethings that comes naturally to us Olvi
folk.

In many ways it has becomes an Art form for us. There are
some Rules of Ettiquete to remembers though, as it is
defenitly a Social activity.



Share and share alike! You
gots extra Cigar? Share its! Good way to make new
friends.


Pipes can and should be
shared too, but you gotta be wary of sudden
storms, peoples might runs for shelter with your
favorite pipe.



What you needs for
Smokings, 

To Smokes you needs 
a Cigar 
Or a Pipe and
Tobacco. 
a Piece of Flint. 

It
also a good idea to get a Cigar Box or Tobacco Pouch {For
holdings your Cigars or Tobacco}, But it's not absolutely
neccesary.


You
can gets everything you need in the Town of RiverHaven at
the Tobacco Hut called The Fine Leaf's End. Or you can
just keeps your fingers and toes crossed and get them
from Treasure Boxes.


How to Light Cigars or Tobacco



First you need to get out
your Cigar or Tobacco 
Drops it on the ground, It
might be a good ideas to guards it if theres a
lot of other folks around. 
Get your Flint and your
favorites Blade out. 
Then you Light
Cigar With My Flint 
or Light
Tobacco With My Flint If you gonna Smoke
a Pipe. 

After
it's Lit you pick it up and Smoke the Cigar. If it
Tobacco then you gotta pick it up and put it in your
Pipe and smoke it.


You
may have heards we can makes "pictures" with
our exhaled smoke.

Well, yuppers, it's true, we can do thats.

Me nots gonna tell you how we makes thems, cause it funs
to discover its on your own. We can also Exhale Lines,
Balls, and Rings. 
As
for Pictures, Me is hopings, that someday, some nice
Guardian Mage will show up and teach us to make different
ones than what we got now.  




Halflings are a hard-working
race of peaceful citizens. Their communities are similar
to those of humans, although they usually contain many
burrow homes in addition to surface cottages.


       
Halflings average 3 feet in height, have ruddy
complexions, with sandy to dark brown hair, and blue or
hazel eyes. Their dress is often colorful but
serviceable, and they like to wear caps or tunics. In
addition to their own language, many halflings also speak
the common tongue, gnome, goblin, and orcish.




Combat:


Halflings will fight with great
ferocity in defense of good or their homes. They are very
skilled with both the sling and the bow and use these
weapons to great advantage in battle. Their tactics often
involve feints to draw their attackers into the open
where they can be subjected to a volley of fire from
cover.


Cheerful and outgoing,
halflings, take great pleasure in simple crafts and
nature. Their fingers, though short, are very dexterous
allowing them to create objects of great beauty.
Halflings shun water and extremes in temperature,
preferring to settle in temperate pastoral countrysides.
They get along well with humans.




Ecology:


Halflings hunt occasionally, but
prefer breads, vegetables and fruits, with an occasional
pheasant on the side. They have a life expectancy of 100
years on the average.




Tallfellow


A taller (4'+) and slimmer
halfling with fair skin and hair, tallfellows are
somewhat rare among the halfling folk. Tallfellows
generally speak the language of elves in addition to
those listed previously and greatly enjoy their company.
They live 180 years on average.




Stout


These halflings are shorter and
stockier than the more common hairfoots. Stouts take
great pleasure in gems and fine masonry, often working as
jewelers or stone cutters. They rarely mix with humans
and elves, but enjoy the company of dwarves and often
speak their language fluently. Like dwarves, stouts have
infravision.Their ties with the dwarven folk have spilled
over into their combat tactics, with many stouts
employing hammers and morningstars in combat. Stouts also
have no fear of water and, in fact, many are excellent
swimmers. Stouts can reach an age of 140 or more years. 
 

DOS, A BEER
-Lord Sir Lady Greywalker
(Tune: "Do re mi")


Dos a beer, a Mexican beer.
Ray the guy we sent for beer.
Me the guy, he got the beer for.
Fa, a long long way for beer.
So, I think I'll have a beer.
La, la la la la la la.
Ti, no thanks I'll have a beer
and that brings us back to Dos Dos Dos Dos




SEVEN DRUNKEN NIGHTS
-Echoes of Erin
(I know this is incomplete - if you have the missing verse,
as the Echoes do it, please send it to me)

Seven Drunken Nights
Trad.
[Anything in brackets is a crowd cue..as in, HEY, WIFE!]
(Anything in parentheses is a spoken cue for the wife.)

Husband: As I went home on Monday night, [MONDAY NIGHT?]
as drunk as drunk could be.
I saw a horse outside the door,
where my old horse should be.
I called my wife and I said to her:[HEY, WIFE!]
Will you kindly tell to me,
who owns that horse outside the door,
where my old horse should be?
Wife: Oh, you're drunk, you're drunk
you silly old fool, and still you cannot see.
That's a lovely sow that my mother sent to me.
H: Well, it's many a day I've traveled, a hundred miles or more,
but a saddle on a sow, sure, I never saw before.

H: As I went home on Tuesday night,[TUESDAY NIGHT?]
as drunk as drunk could be.
I saw a coat behind the door,
where my old coat should be.
I called my wife and I said to her:[HEY, WIFE!]
Will you kindly tell to me,
who owns that coat behind the door,
where my old coat should be?
W: Oh, you're drunk, you're drunk
you silly old fool, and still you cannot see.
That's a woolen blanket that my mother sent to me.
H: Well, it's many a day I've traveled, a hundred miles or more,
but buttons on a blanket, sure, I never saw before.

H: As I went home on Wednesday night,[WEDNESDAY NIGHT?]
as drunk as drunk could be.
I saw a pipe upon the chair,
where my old pipe should be.
I called my wife and I said to her:[HEY, WIFE!]
Will you kindly tell to me,
who owns that pipe upon the chair
where my old pipe should be.
W: Oh, you're drunk, you're drunk
you silly old fool, and still you cannot see.
That's a lovely tin-whistle, that my mother sent to me.
H: Well, it's many a day I've traveled, a hundred miles or more,
but tobacco in a tin-whistle, sure, I never saw before.

H: As I came home on Thursday night,[THURSDAY NIGHT?]
as drunk as drunk could be.
I saw two boots beside the bed,
where my old boots should be.
I called my wife and I said to her:[HEY, WIFE!]
([WHADDAYA WANT, YA DRUNKEN BUM?])
Will you kindly tell to me,
who owns them boots beside the bed
where my old boots should be.
W: Oh, you're drunk, you're drunk
you silly old fool, and still you cannot see.
They're two lovely flower pots my mother sent to me.
H: Well, it's many a day I've traveled, a hundred miles or more,
but laces in flower pots I never saw before.

H: As I came home on Friday night,[FRIDAY NIGHT?]
as drunk as drunk could be.
I saw a head upon the bed,
where my old head should be.
I called my wife and I said to her:[HEY, WIFE!]
([WHADDAYA WANT, YA DRUNKEN BUM?])
Will you kindly tell to me,
who owns that head upon the bed,
where my old head should be.
W: Oh, you're drunk, you're drunk
you silly old fool, and still you cannot see.
That's a lovely head of cabbage, that my mother sent to me.
H: Well, it's many a day I've traveled, a hundred miles or more,
but a mustache on a cabbage, sure, I never saw
before.
(Winn Dixie brand....)

H: Now as I came on Sunday night,[SATURDAY NIGHT?] [LIVE!]
as drunk as drunk can be,
I saw a man running down the street,
as naked as could be!
So I called to me wife and I said to her:[HEY, WIFE!]
([WHADDAYA WANT, YA DRUNKEN BUM?] (I'M BUSY!)
would ya kindly tell to me,
who was that man running down the street
with the great, big, hairy.....knees?
W: You're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you cannot see,
That's just a tax collector,
that the Queen sent to...service me...
(With the long form....and the extension.)
H: Well, it's many the day I've travelled,
a hundred miles or more,
but a tax collector satisfied,
I never saw before!


The Sick
Note or... Paddy's Lament
Dear sir, I write this note to you,
to tell you of my plight.
For at the time of writing I am not a pretty
sight.
My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly grey,
And I write
this note to say why Paddy's not at work today.


While working on the castle wall, some bricks I had to
clear.

To throw them down from such a height seemed quite a good
idea.

The bailiff was not very pleased, the bloody awkward sod

And he said I'd have to cart them down the ladder in my
hod.


Now clearing all these bricks by hand, it seemed so
very slow.

So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below.

But in my haste to do the job, I was too blind to see

That a barrel full of building bricks is heavier than me.


And so, when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like
lead.

And clinging tightly to the rope, I started up instead.

I shot up like a rocket till to my dismay I found,

That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down.


The barrel broke my shoulder as towards the ground it
sped,

And when I reached the top, I banged the pulley with my
head.

I hung on tightly, numb with shock, from this almighty
blow,

And the barrel spilled out half its bricks some forty
feet below.


Now when those bricks had fallen from the barrel to
the floor, 

I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once
more.

Still clinging tightly to the rope, my body wracked with
pain,

When halfway down I met that bloody barrel once again.


The force of this collision, halfway up that castle
block,

Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty state of shock.

Still clinging tightly to the rope, I fell towards the
ground

And I landed on the broken bricks the barrel'd scattered
round.


I lay there groaning on the ground, I thought I'd past
the worst;

But the barrel hit the pulley wheel, and then the bottom
burst.

A shower of bricks rained down on me, I hadn't got a
hope,

And in the mass confusion I let go the bloody rope.


The barrel was now free to fall and it started down
once more

And landed right across me as I lay there on the floor.

It broke three ribs, and my left arm, and I can only say

That I hope you understand why Paddy's not at work today.



Dough - For beer
by Effin Wlystie

(version and author's name submitted by Earl Sir Timmoch
Haakonson of Nordheim via Lord Gorlan of the Redlands)
Dough - The stuff that buys my beer

Ray - The guy who sells me beer

Me - I think I'll have a beer

Far - A long way to the john

So - lets have another beer

La - (All gentils stare at each other across the fire
with puzzled looks on their faces and scratching their
heads for a few seconds)

La - lets have another beer!

Tea - no thanks, I'll have another beer 

Which will bring us back to Dough 
Alternate last two verses 
Te - I think we're out of beer

Which will mean we need more Dough 
Do, re, me fa, so, la, te, Beer. 

The Old Dun
Cow
Traditional
Some friends and I in a public house

Was playin' dominoes one night

When into the pub a fireman ran

His face all a chalky white.

"What's up", says Brown, "Have you seen a
ghost,

Or have you seen your Aunt Mariah?"

"Me Aunt Mariah be buggered!", says he,

"The bleedin' pub's on fire!" 
"Oh well," says Brown, "What a bit of
luck.

Everybody follow me.

And it's down to the cellar 

If the fire's not there

Then we'll have a grand old spree."

So we went on down after good old Brown

The booze we could not miss

And we hadn't been there ten minutes or more

Till we were quite like this... 

Chorus... 

And there was Brown upside down 

Moppin' up the whiskey on the floor. 

"Booze, booze!" The firemen cried 

As they came knockin' on the door (clap clap) 

Oh don't let 'em in till it's all drunk up 

And somebody shouted MacIntyre! MACINTYRE!


And we all got blue-blind paralytic drunk 

When the Old Dun Cow caught fire. 

Then, Smith walked over to the port wine tub 

And gave it just a few hard knocks (clap clap) 

Started takin' off his pantaloons 

Likewise his shoes and socks. 

"Hold on, " says Brown, "that ain't
allowed 

Ya cannot do that thing here. 

Don't go washin' trousers in the port wine tub 

When we got Guinness beer." 
Chorus... 
And then there came a mighty crash 

Half the bloody roof caved in. 

We were almost drowned in the firemen's hose 

Though we were almost happy 

So we got some tacks and some old wet sacks 

And we tacked ourselves inside 

And we sat there getting bleary-eyed drunk 

While the Old Dun Cow caught fire... 
Chorus... 

Black
Velvet Band
Traditional
In a neat little town they call Belfast 

Apprenticed in trade I was bound 

And many an hour of sweet happiness 

I spent in that neat little town. 
Then bad misfortune befell me 

And caused me to stray from the land 

Far away from my friends and companions 

To follow the black velvet band. 

Chorus 

Her eyes they shone like the diamond 

You'd think she was queen of the land 

And her hair hung over her shoulder 

Tied up in a black velvet band

Well, I was out strolling one evening 

Not intendin to stay very long 

When I met with a frolicsome damsel 

As She came a trippin along 

Chorus...

Well a watch, she pulled out her pocket 

And slipped it right into my hand 

On the very first day that I met her, 

Bad luck to the black velvet band 

Chorus...

Before judge and jury next morning 

Both of us did appear 

A gentleman claimed his jewelry 

And the case against us was clear. 

Chorus...

Now seven long years transportation
Right down
to Van Dieman's Land
Far away from my friends and companions
To follow
the black velvet band


Chorus...

So come all you jolly young fellows 

I'd have you take warning by me 

And whenever you're out on the liquor 

Beware of the pretty colleen 
They'll fill you with whiskey and porter 

Until You're not able to stand 

And the very next thing that you know 

You're landed in Van Dieman's Land 

Chorus...


Lilly the
Pink
traditional
Here's the story, a little bit gory,

A little bit happy, a little sad,

Of Lilly the Pink and her Medicinal Compound

And how it drove her slighty mad. 

Chorus:

We'll drink and drink and drink, 

To Lilly the Pink the Pink the Pink,

The Saviour of the Human race.

She invented Medicinal Compound,

With applications in every case. 

Ebeneezer thought he was Julius Ceaser
And so they put him in a
home,
Where they gave him medicinal compound;
Now he's Emporer of Rome.


Chorus

Uncle Paul he, was terribly small he
Was the smallest
man in town.
Rubbed his body with Medicinal Compund,
Now he's six feet -
Underground!


Chorus

Pretty Klinger, the opera singer
Broke glasses with
every word he said.
Rubbed his tonsils with Medicinal Compund,
Now they
break glasses over his head!


Chorus

Eleber Friers had sticky-out ears
And it made him awful
shy.
And so they game him medicinal compound;
Now he's learning how to
fly!


Chorus

Johnny Hammer had a terrible stammer,
He could hardly
say a word.
Then he tried some Medicinal Compound,
Now he's seen but never
heard!


Chorus

Lilly died and went up to Heaven,
All the church bells
they did ring.
She took with her Medicinal Compound.
Hark the Herald
Angels sing!


Chorus


"Ramblin'
Rover"
Andy M. Stewart

Chorus:

Oh, there're sober men and plenty,

And drunkards barely twenty,

There are men of over ninety

That have never yet kissed a girl.

But give me a ramblin' rover,

Frae Orkney down to Dover.

We will roam the country over

And together we'll face the world. 

There's many that feign enjoyment
From merciless
employment,
Their ambition was this deployment
From the minute they left
the school.
And they save and scrape and ponder
While the rest go out and
squander,
See the world and rove and wander
And are happier as a rule.


Chorus:

I've roamed through all the nations

In delight of all creations,

And enjoyed a wee sensation

Where the company, it was kind.

And when partin' was no pleasure,

I've drunk another measure

To the good friends that we treasure

For they always are in our mind. 

Chorus:

If you're bent wi' arthiritis,

Your bowels have got Colitis,

You've gallopin' bollockitis

And you're thinkin' it's time you died,

If you been a man o' action,

Though you're lying there in traction,

You will get some satisfaction

Thinkin', "Jesus, at least I tried." 

Chorus:


The Scotsman
Mike Cross
(nb: There are some different words used by 
different people
- I use the version as most commonly listed for Bryan Bowers)

Oh a Scotsman clad in kilt left the bar
one evenin' fair, 

And one could tell by how he walked he'd drunk more than
his share; 

He fumbled round 'til he could no longer keep his feet, 

Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the
street. 



Ring-ding diddle diddle aye-dee-oh 

Ring di-diddle-aye-oh 

Oh he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside
the street. 

About that
time two young and lovely girls happened by,
One says to the other, with a
twinkle in her eye;
"See yon sleepy Scotsman, so strong and handsome built?"

"I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt."



Ring-ding diddle diddle aye-dee-oh 

Ring di-diddlee-aye-oh 

"I wonder if it's true what they don't wear
beneath the kilt." 

They
crept up on that sleeping Scotsman, quiet as could be,
Lifted up his kilt
about an inch so they could see;
And there behold for them to view beneath
his Scottish skirt,
'Twas nothin' more than God had graced him with upon his
birth.



Ring-ding diddle diddle aye-dee-oh 

Ring di-diddlee-aye-oh 

'Twas nothing more than God had graced him with
upon his birth. 

Well they
marveled for a moment, then one said, "We must be gone."
"Let's leave a
present for our friend before we move along."
As a gift, they left a blue
silk ribbon tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star the Scotsman's kilt did
lift and show.



Ring-ding diddle diddle aye-dee-oh 

Ring di-diddlee-aye-oh 

Around the bonnie star the Scotsman's kilt did
lift and show. 

The Scotsman
woke to nature's call and stumbled towards the trees,
Behind a bush he lifts
his kilt and gawks at what he sees;
And in a startled voice he says to
what's before his eyes,
"Oh, lad I don't know where you've been but I see
you've won first prize!"



Ring-ding diddle diddle aye-dee-oh 

Ring di-diddlee-aye-oh 

"Oh, lad I don't know where you've been but
I see you've won first prize!" 


"Kingdom
of the Wetlands"
Or
"A Wetlands Newbie's First Event"

(To the tune of "Hotel California" by the
Eagles)

by Sir Topknot 
On a dark Texas highway

Cool wind in my hair

Warm smell of a polecat

Rising up through the air

Up ahead in the distance

I saw a smiling face

My head grew heavy & my sight grew dim

I had arrived at the place

There they stood at the gateway

I paid the entrance fee

And I was thinking to myself

Is this the place that's right for me?

Then they gave me a weapon

And they pointed the way

There were people ditching all night long

I thought I heard them say 

Welcome to the
Kingdom of the Wetlands

Such a humid place

(such a humid place)

Such a soggy place

Plenty of drinks in the Kingdom of the Wetlands

Any time of year

(any time of year)

You can party here 

Their minds are focused
on fighting

They're glad to spar with you

They've got a lot of artisans

I could be one, too

How they ditch in the daytime

And party at night

Some sing in the bardics

Some just want to fight

So I met with the Monarch

"Please tell me I'm right"

He said

"We will always welcome new members, to sew or to
fight"

And still those voices are calling from far away

Wake you up in the middle of the night

Just to hear them say 

Welcome to the
Kingdom of the Wetlands

Such a humid place

(such a humid place)

Such a soggy place

They're livin' it up in the Kingdom of the
Wetlands

What a friendly crew

(what a friendly crew)

Now I live here too 

Wizards throwing
spellballs

Warriors in steel

And she said

"You can choose to sing as a bard

To fight, or to heal"

And in the covered pavilion

They gathered for the feast

They sing the praises of the populace

From north, south, west, & east. 
Next thing I remember

I was talking with some guy

I tried to think of what I would do if I had to say
goodbye

"Relax" said my new friend

"Though your absence we will grieve,

You can join another Kingdom

But you never truly leave" 
December 9,
1997, By Sir Topknot Grimwulff 

"I Buy
Garb From Cheap Places" 
(To the
tune of "Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks)

By Sir Topknot
Blame it all on Amtgard

I showed up in garb

And ruined your SCA Faire

With my PVC sword

And my shield of cardboard

I was the last one

You'd want to be there

And I saw the surprise

And the scorn in your eyes

When I donned my terrycloth cloak

And I toasted you

Said "To your own Dream be true"

And laughed as you started to choke 

*chorus*

'Cause I buy garb from cheap places

And I raid the dumpsters

Just to find traces of foam and pipe

So that I can fight

I don't buy stuff I can't afford

Just give me some scraps and I'll make a sword

And I buy garb from cheap places 

I guess I was wrong

I just don't belong

I shouldn't expect to fit in

Everything is just fine

I'll have one glass of wine

I doubt that I'll be back again

Hey, I didn't mean

To put down your Dream

Just leave me to make my own Way

We play two different Games

Alike, but yet not the same

But you'll never hear me complain... 

*chorus*

'Cause I buy garb from cheap places

And I raid the dumpsters

Just to find traces of foam and pipe

So that I can fight

I don't buy stuff I can't afford

Just give me some scraps and I'll make a sword

And I buy garb from cheap places 

January 18,
1998, By Sir Topknot Grimwulff 

"Bitchin'
King"
(A
Tribute to King Sable Cacophony)

(To the tune of "Dancing Queen" by Abba)

By Sir Topknot
You can ditch, you can
fight, having the time of your life

See that guy, watch that scene, he is a bitchin' King... 
Friday night and the
town is slow

Looking out for a place to go

Where they party all night, getting in the swing

You come in to meet the King

Anybody could like that guy

His butt is cute and his smile is bright

With a bottle of cider, everything is fine

He's in the mood to ditch

And when you get the chance... 

Chorus

Check out that bitchin' King, young and cute,
only twenty-two

Bitchin' King, everyone wants to meet him, too

You can ditch, you can fight, having the time of
your life

See that guy, what's his name? Sable Cacophony...


He's the Sweetie of the
Smiley Face

Leaves them laughing and then he's off

Looking for someone to spar with, anyone will do

He's in the mood to ditch

And when you get the chance... 

Chorus

Check out that bitchin' King, young and cute,
only twenty-two

Bitchin' King, everyone wants to meet him, too

You can ditch, you can fight, having the time of
your life

See that guy, what's his name? Sable Cacophony...

He is a bitchin' King.... 

January 20,
1998, By Sir Topknot Grimwulff 

"Celebration"
A
Tribute to the Reign of Duke Anubis & Regent Tinuviel


(To the tune of "Celebration" by Kool & the
Gang)

By Sir Topknot 

Chorus

Woo-Hooh! (party in the Wetlands)

Woo-Hooh! (party in the Wetlands)

Celebrate their reign, Huzzah! (party in the
Wetlands)

Celebrate their reign, Huzzah! (party in the
Wetlands)

There's a party going
on, you know

Our new rulers will now ascend the throne

They'll bring you cookies, and good laughter, too

They're gonna celebrate with pudding for you 
Come on now!

Non sugimus! Let's all celebrate and have a good time

Non sugimus! We're gonna celebrate and have a good time 
It's time to crown the
couple

It's up to them to rule our Duchy

Everyone assembled, now, "Huzzah!" 

Chorus

Woo-Hooh! (party in the Wetlands)

Woo-Hooh! (party in the Wetlands)

Celebrate their reign, Huzzah! (party in the
Wetlands)

Celebrate their reign, Huzzah! (party in the
Wetlands)

We're gonna have a good
time tonight

Let's celebrate, it's all right

We're gonna have a good time tonight

Let's celebrate, it's all right 
Non sugimus! Let's all
celebrate and have a good time

Non sugimus! We're gonna celebrate and have a good time 

Chorus

Woo-Hooh! (party in the Wetlands)

Woo-Hooh! (party in the Wetlands)

Celebrate their reign, Huzzah! (party in the
Wetlands)

Celebrate their reign, Huzzah! (party in the
Wetlands)

(repeat ad nauseum) 
January 21,
1998, By Sir Topknot Grimwulff 

"Bolt!"
A Gentle
Stab at a Prominent Member of the Claw Legion

(To the tune of "Help!" by the Beatles)

By Sir Topknot 
Help! I need somebody

Help! Not just anybody

Help! You know I need someone. Help! 
When I was younger, just a newbie in this 
Game

I never needed anybody's help in any way

But now those days are gone, I'm not so self-assured

There's this guy who kicks my ass when I fight sword
& board 
Help me if you can to
kill Sir Bolt

I am sick of being speared upon his pole

Help me give my self-esteem a jolt

Won't you please, please help me 
And now this Game has
changed in oh so many ways

My chance of beating him has vanished in the haze

So I got back at him, did what I had to do

And so I slipped some Nair into his bottle of shampoo 
Help me if you can to
kill Sir Bolt

I am sick of being speared upon his pole

Help me give my self-esteem a jolt

Won't you please, please help me 
When I was younger, just
a newbie in this Game

I never needed anybody's help in any way

Bu now those days are gone, I'm not so self-assured

There's this guy who kicks my ass when I fight sword
& board 
Help me if you can to
kill Sir Bolt

I am sick of being speared upon his pole

Help me give my self-esteem a jolt

Won't you please, please help me, help me, help me....
ohhhhhh 
February 6,
1998, By Sir Topknot Grimwulff 

Grand
Admiral Asmund
A Social
Commentary

(parody of "Godzilla!" by Blue Oyster Cult)

By Sir Topknot
With a purposeful
grimace and a curious sound

He pulls his Levi 501 blue jeans down 
Wolf folk sitting around
in a mass

Scream "My God!" as he shows his hairy ass 
He moons everyone and he
wiggles his butt

And proclaims himself to be the King of Smut 
Oh no, his belch packs
quite a punch, Admiral Asmund

On no, there goes Rachel's lunch, Admiral Asmund 
Asmund has shown again
and again

That alcohol brings out the nudist in men... 
February 6,
1998, By Sir Topknot Grimwulff 

"Ego
Thumping" 
(parody
of "Tub Thumping" by Chumbawumba)

by Rogan (not Wulfgar) & Sir Topknot 
We'll be bitching

When we're ditching

We'll be bitching... 
I shrug more shots

Then I get up again

I'm always gonna call it "light" 
Ditching the night away

Ditching the night away 
He shrugs the arm shot

He shrugs the leg shot

He shrugs the body shot

He shrugs the booty shot

He shrugs the shots that are thrown by the Corsairs

He shrugs the shots that are thrown by the Legionnaires 
Oh, Rhino hide....

Rhino hide....

Rhino hide.... 
I shrug more shots

Then I get up again

I'm alwyas gonna call it "light" 
Ditching the night away

Ditching the night away 
He shrugs the arm shot

He shrugs the leg shot

He shrugs the body shot

He shrugs the booty shot

He shrugs the shots that are thrown by the Corsairs

He shrugs the shots that are thrown by the Legionnaires 
Oh, Rhino hide....

Rhino hide....

Rhino hide.... 
I shrug more shots

Then I get up again

I'm always gonna call it "light" 
We'll be bitching

When we're ditching

We'll be bitching 
etc. 
February
16, 1998, By Sir Topknot Grimwulff 

Wannabe (a
Warlord)
A Young
Amtgarder's Dream

By Sir Topknot

(parody of "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls)
Yo, I'll tell you what I
want, what I really, really want,

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want,

I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want,

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want,

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, 

I wanna really, really, really wanna mosh your team!



If you want to fight us, my side kicks ass,

If you wanna ditch with us, better make it fast,

Now don't go wasting our precious time,

Get your naginata, we could be just fine



I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want,

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want,

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, 

I wanna really, really, really wanna mosh your team!



If you wanna be a Warlord, you gotta fight like Sir Leif,

Swing your sword like Vaargard, he's good, you better
believe!

If you wanna be a Warlord, you have got to swing,

Sloughing pisses me off, but that's the way it is.



Whatcha think about that, now you know how I swing,

Say you can handle my shots, are you for real?

I won't be lofty, I'll give you a chance,

If you really bug me then I'll mosh your ass.



Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really
want,

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want,

I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, 

I wanna really, really, really wanna mosh your team!



If you wanna be a Warlord, you gotta fight like Sir Lief,

Swing your sword like Vaargard, he's good, you better
believe!

If you wanna be a Warlord, you have got to swing,

Sloughing pisses me off, but that's the way it is.



So here's a story from A to Z, 

You wanna ditch with me, you gotta listen carefully,

We got Guy in the place who throws it in your face,

We got Aramithris who rests it on his knee,

Oreo doesn't come for free, she's a real lady,

And as for me, ah, you'll see,

Slam your pokey down and whip it all around

Slam your pokey down and whip it all around



If you wanna be a Warlord, you gotta fight like Sir Lief,

Swing your sword like Vaargard, he's good, you better
believe!

If you wanna be a Warlord, you have got to swing,

Sloughing pisses me off, but that's the way it is.



If you wanna be a Warlord, you gotta, you gotta, you
gotta,

you gotta, you gotta, slam, slam, slam, slam

Slam your pokey down and whip it all around.

Slam your pokey down and whip it all around.

Slam your pokey down and whip it all around.

Slam your pokey down and mosh on their team!

If you wanna be a Warlord......




August 4,
1998, By Sir Topknot Grimwulff 

"This
Margul Must Die"
By Sir
Topknot

(parody of "This Jesus Must Die" from Jesus
Christ Superstar)
Sable
Good Vaargard, the people
wait for you.
The populace and Rose are
here for you.
Vaargard
Ah, gentlemen, you know
why we are here.
We've not much time, and
quite a problem here.
MOB 
(outside)
Margul Laesus!
Margul Laesus!
Rogan
Listen to that howling mob
of blockheads in the street!
A trick or two with magic,
and the Kingdom’s on its feet.
ALL 
(inside)
He is dangerous!
MOB 
(outside)
Margul... Demon King!
ALL 
(inside)
He is dangerous!
MOB 
(outside)
Tell us that you can do
anything!
Damia
The King is in town right
now to whip up some support
Lakus
A rabble rousing mission
that I think we must abort.
ALL 
(inside)
He is dangerous!
MOB 
(outside)
Margul… Demon King!
ALL 
(inside)
He is dangerous!
 
Kwi
Look Vaargard, they're
right outside our door!
Freya
Quick Vaargard, let’s
beat them to the floor!
Vaargard
No wait!
We need a more permanent
solution to our problem.
Topknot
What then to do about
Margul, the Demon King?
Tyrannical, powermad King
of the land.
Cross
His guards & his
armies are led by dark magics
Vaargard 
I can’t help but
wonder what Margul has planned.
Eskana
We dare not leave him to
his own devices. 
His half-witted fans will
get out of control.
Tinuviel
But how can we stop him?
His power increases
By leaps every minute,
he's top of the poll.
Vaargard
I see bad things arising.
The crowd crown him King;
which the Rahbet would ban.
I see blood and
destruction,
Our elimination because of
one man.
Blood and destruction
because of one man. 
ALL 
(inside)
Because, because, because
of one man.
Vaargard
Our elimination because of
one man.
ALL 
(inside)
Because, because, because
of one, 'cause of one, 'cause of one, 'cause of one man.
Denah
What then to do about this
Margul mania?
Demonis
How do we deal with a
Dictator King? 
Sorsha
Where do we start with a
man who is stronger
Than Drake was when Drake
did his kidnapping thing?
Vaargard
Fools! You have no
perception!
The stakes we are gambling
are frighteningly high.
We must crush him
completely,
So like Drake before him,
this Margul must die.
For the sake of the
Wetlands, this Margul must die.
ALL 
(inside)
Must die, must die, this
Margul must die.
Vaargard
So like Drake before him,
this Margul must die
ALL 
(inside)
Must die, must die, this
Margul must, Margul must, Margul must die!
August 24, 1998, By Sir Topknot
Grimwulff 

Malorius
By Sir Topknot

(parody of "Hosanna" from Jesus Christ
Superstar)
(Crowd)

Hosanna Heysanna

Vaargard will be King

Sanna Hey Sanna Ho Sanna

Hey Vaargard, Vaargard won't you smile at me?

Sanna Ho Sanna Hey Malorius



(The Enemy)

Tell the Roses to be quiet

We don't want to see a riot

This common crowd

Is much too loud

Tell the mob who sing your song

That they are fools and they are wrong

They are a curse

They should disperse



(Crowd)

Hosanna Heysanna

Vaargard will be King

Sanna Hey Sanna Ho Sanna 

Hey Vaargard, Vaargard you're alright by me

Sanna Ho Sanna Hey Malorius



(Vaargard)

Why waste your breath moaning at the crowd?

Nothing can be done to stop the shouting

If ev'ry tongue was still the noise would still continue

The rocks and stones themselves would start to sing:



(Crowd with Vaargard)

Hosanna Heysanna

Vaargard will be King

Sanna Hey Sanna Ho Sanna 

Hey Vaargard, Vaargard won't you fight for me?

Sanna Ho Sanna Hey Malorius



(Vaargard)

Give me your votes, but not for me alone.

Cast a vote for change that's overdue

There is not one of you who cannot help the Kingdom:

The hordes of fighting kids, the color, too



(Crowd with Vaargard)

Hosanna Heysanna

Vaargard will be King

Sanna Hey Sanna Ho Sanna 

Hey Vaargard, Vaargard won't you fight for me?

Sanna Ho Sanna Hey Malorius




August 29, 1998, By Sir Topknot
Grimwulff 

Sewing Tips/Sewing
Things - Mystifying!
By Sir Topknot

(parody of "What's the Buzz/Strange Thing Mystifying"
from Jesus Christ Superstar)
(Topknot & Granyte Spyre)

What's the trick? Tell me how to appliqué

(repeat)



(Anubis)

Why should you want to know?

Would you rather learn to fight me?

Don't you hear what I have said?

Save the sewing for the garbers.

Think about your swords instead.



(Topknot & Granyte Spyre)

What's the trick? Tell me how to appliqué

(repeat)



(Anubis)

I could show you threads and stitches. 

I could give you cloth and patterns.

Even tell you how I do it...



(Topknot & Granyte Spyre)

When do I attain awards for garbing?

(repeat)



(Anubis)
 Why should you want to know?

Why are you obsessed with garbing?

Using skills you don't possess?

If you knew the joy of fighting,

You'd throw away your sewing mess.



(Topknot & Granyte Spyre)

What's the trick? Tell me how to appliqué

(repeat)



(Tinuviel)

Let me show you how to sew a straight seam

(repeat)



(Topknot)

Tinuviel, ooh, that is nice!

While Anubis disses sewing,

"Oh my God, it's just too hard!"

You alone have tried to teach me

How to garb a proper bard.



(Topknot & Granyte Spyre)

What's the trick? Tell me how to appliqué

(repeat)




Sewing Things - Mystifying!
(Anubis)

It seems to me a strange thing, mystifying

That someone like you could waste their time on women of
her kind. 

Yes, I can understand that she can teach you,

But to let her show you how to sew is hardly in your line.



It's not that I object to her profession,

But you do not seem the type to want to sew all day

It doesn't mix well with the Captain Morgan's

You'll only mess up & then have to throw it all away.



(Topknot)

Who are you to criticize it?

Who are you to despise it?

Leave her, leave me, you can go now.

Leave her, leave me, let us sew now. 

If your garb is great, then you can go home.

If your garb is not, then leave us alone.



I'm amazed that guys like you can be so shallow, thick
and slow. 

Sewing garb & making swords are part of the same art,
don't you know?



(Granyte Spyre (save Anubis and Topknot))

Yes! She's right, so very right

Yes! She's right, so very right

We want to learn, too!

We want to learn, too!

(repeat)



(Topknot)

I applaud every one of you!




??, 1998, By Sir Topknot Grimwulff 

Eskana's Standing
There
By Sir Topknot

(parody of "I Saw Her Standing There" by the
Beatles)
She was a scout dressed in green

You know what I mean?

And the way she fought was way beyond compare

Well how could I fight with another?

With Eskana standing there



Well, she looked at me, and I, I could see

That before too long I'd die beneath her sword

She wouldn't fight with another

Until she killed me standing there



Well, I lost my shield

When I crossed that field

And I felt her sword run through me...



Well, we ditched through the night

And I put up a fight

And before too long she'd killed me once again

Now I'll never fight with another

If Eskana's standing there



Well, I lost my shield

When I crossed that field

And I felt her sword run through me...



Well, we ditched through the night

And I put up a fight

And before too long she'd killed me once again

Now I'll never fight with another

If Eskana's standing there




December 3, 1998 by Sir Topknot
Grimwulff 

Newbie Rhapsody
By Sir Topknot

(parody of "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen)
Is this a
ditch fight?

Is this just fantasy?

Caught up in roleplay

It's escape from reality.

Opened my eyes, I found lots of guys like me

I'm just a newbie, I need no sympathy,

Because I want to ditch, don't care where, at the park,
at the Faire

Laughter from the mundanes doesn't really matter to me,
to me.



Thank God, I've found this Game

Took a sword of PVC, made some garb, now look at me

My new life has just begun,

But work is trying to screw it up for me

Please, Boss, oooh, please don't make me work!

If I'm not back again this time next weekend

Something's wrong, something's wrong, got scheduled for a
Sunday



Big quest, my time had come,

Sent shivers down my spine, all the glory could be mine.

Could have won a relic, instead I fell

Had to leave the field and wrap my injured knee

Amtgard, oooh, I sure love this game

I wonder where you've been for all my life

I see a big old silhouetto of a man,

"Are you part of a play? Do you work at the Ren
Faire?"

Questions from the mundanes, always ask the same old
things

(Do you fight here?)

"Yes, we fight here"

(Every Sunday?)

"Every Sunday, We are not part of a cult

It isn't so..."

"I'm just a newbie, nobody knows me."

He's just a newbie, doesn't know the game yet

Show him a life of fun & fantasy.

"If I sign a release, will you let me fight?"

Right on, kid! Yes, we'd love to see you fight

(See you fight!) Right on, kid! We'd love to see you
fight

(See you fight!) Right on, kid! We'd love to see you
fight

(See you fight!) Right on, kid! We'd love to see you
fight

(See you fight!) Love to see you fight. (See you fight!)
Ah.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

(I didn't mean to die so quickly.) 

So it's off the field I go.

Nirvana's fine, I can grab a cigarette before ... they
call ...

"Lay On"

So I think I belong here, I've found a new home

Feel so sad for the people who never will know

Oh, the freedom, of this live interaction

Just gotta give in, just gotta give into the fun



Here there are no limits to what you can achieve

Be whatever you want,

Be whatever you want to be

The Dream becomes what you are....




March 26, 1999 by Sir Topknot Grimwulff 

(Good Alcohol is Just A) Memory
By Sir Topknot

(parody of "Memory" from "Cats")
Midnight, I forgot
to buy whiskey

And the beer stores are closed now

I will have to make do



With this vile crap that Slyddur brought to Coronation

That he said that he would share



Mad dog! Who could possibly drink this?

It's my fault for forgetting

I should buy in advance

I remember I thought that I'd be drinking in style

Now I'm sponging off these kids



Every campsite seems to me to have no concept of flavour

Someone offers Everclear and Kool-Aid, I know I should
decline it



Franzia! I don't think that I've had this

Since I was in high school

God, I must've been nuts

To assume that there'd be some folks with quality hooch

That they'd share with a needy soul



Captain Morgan's, Rumplemintz, seem a distant mem'ry

The night is young, I've got to choose my poison: another
night of Cuervo



See here, it's not funny to tease me

While I'm drunk on tequila

When I'd rather have rum

Come tomorrow, you'll understand what quality is

When I make it to the store




August 15, 1999 by
Sir Topknot Grimwulff 

You Don't Impress Me Much
By Sir Topknot

(parody of "That Don't Impress Me Much" by
Shania Twain)
I've known a few guys who
thought they were pretty sharp

But you've got sluffin' shots down to an art

You think you're a Warlord, you make me wanna cry

You're a regular original, a rhino-hide

Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special

Oh-oo-oh, you think you're something else



Okay, so you're a stick jock

You don't impress me much

So you got the sword but haven't got the touch

Don't get me wrong, you may be a nice man

But that won't keep me warm in the middle of Clan

You don't impress me much



I never knew a guy who carried a spell list in his pocket

And a copy up his sleeve, just in case

And all those forty-pound spellballs in your pouch oughta
do it

'Cause Heaven forbid you should win by fair play

Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special

Oh-oo-oh, you think you're something else



Okay, so you're a spellcaster

You don't impress me much

So you got the words, but haven't got the touch

Now don't get me wrong, you may be a nice man

But that won't keep me warm in the middle of Clan

You don't impress me much



You're one of those guys who likes to sing at the bardics

You try to hog the whole show with your renditions of
GWAR

I can't believe you sang in high school choir

C'mon fella, tell me, you must be joking, right?

Oh-oo-oh, you think you're special

Oh-oo-oh, you think you're something else



Okay, so you've got a guitar

You don't impress me much

So you know the notes but haven't got the touch

Don't get me wrong, you may be a nice man

But that won't keep me warm in the middle of Clan



You don't impress me much

You think you're smooth but haven't got the touch

Don't get me wrong, you may be a nice man

But that won't keep me warm on the long, cold nights at
Clan

You don't impress me much



Okay, so what do you think? You're Scarhart or something?


Whatever…

You don't impress me…




??, 2000, by Sir Topknot Grimwulff 

Contact Nameless Wizard at real_elfqueen@hotmail.com

PLAYER 3 - Grim

No Blurb Submitted As Yet.

Contact Grim at grim@swirve.com

PLAYER 4 - Nameless Wizard

No Blurb Submitted As Yet.

Contact Nameless Wizard at goblininfinity@hotmail.com

PLAYER 5 - Karimajero

No Blurb Submitted As Yet.

Contact Karimajero at mastahvivi@hotmail.com

PLAYER 6 - KARLOS THE JACKEL

No Blurb Submitted As Yet.

Contact KARLOS THE JACKEL at masterpiece_1999@yahoo.com

PLAYER 7 - Silk

No Blurb Submitted As Yet.

Contact Silk at coogrl@hotmail.com

PLAYER 8 - Nameless Wizard

No Blurb Submitted As Yet.

Contact Nameless Wizard at dijk_van_peter@hotmail.com

PLAYER 9 - Nameless Wizard

No Blurb Submitted As Yet.

Contact Nameless Wizard at john.ohara@erols.com

PLAYER 10 - SHAMALAMADINGDONG

No Blurb Submitted As Yet.

Contact SHAMALAMADINGDONG at hendrickson@mo-net.com

PLAYER 11 - Nameless Wizard

No Blurb Submitted As Yet.

Contact Nameless Wizard at rodafreak@hotmail.com

PLAYER 12 - Darkmoon

No Blurb Submitted As Yet.

Contact Darkmoon at bramaguta@mail.com

Off to WOW Game Status Page.