PLAYER BLURBS.
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No Blurb Submitted As Yet.
Contact John The Boring at john@mcintoshhome.freeserve.co.uk
No Blurb Submitted As Yet.
Contact Azant at asam@pvnet.com.mx
*yawn* Here we go again it seems - another clonecarnation seems to have taken effect... *sigh* Hmm, wait - there was a slight difference! I just realised I said 'we' ... ?! Me and the memory of all 1764 zillion clonecarnations preceding and parallelling this one - maybe indeed 'we' is a better pronoun than the ego-centered 'I' especially since the 'I' have the memories of 'us' all anyway? Maybe one day I/we should try to think up a decent (or maybe even indecent *chuckle*) pronoun covering the uniqueness of my/our existence... Hmm, while waiting for the usual arrival committee 'I' might try to do it right now lest 'we' get it wrong now - and while I/we are at it it might probably be a good idea to figure out why all of me/us also seem to be particularly fond of puns - the worse the better...
On closer thought, maybe I/we shouldn't do that - the result might be the terriblest pun ever to enter a pun contest for the terriblest possible pun, making the win and subsequent loss of face all but ensured... Hmm, strange, even though I have the memories of us all, my face still feels like 'my' face and I'd prefer not to lose it...
Ehh, where was I? Oh yes, trying to figure out a new all-encompassing pronoun to cover my/our unique situation - *OOPS!*
That wasn't exactly the pronoun oops had in mind but it somehow seems fitting - thinking about that original stupiditator back on oops first homeworld who thought that the 'clone self' spell was a piece of cake... And ever since then oops've been eating cake - and some high-quality bread wouldn't be bad for a change...
Wait a second - the exclamation *OOPS!* was caused by something completely different! Now let oops just have to find out what it was - ahh, there it is; oops inadvertently stumbled on something important - a pointer to the signpost over there - let oops see what it says...
WARNING! UTTERING
(or even thinking)
the word *OOPS!* may have
serious side-effects on this world!
*grumble* Why do some of the world oo... - oh well, 'I' will have to do for now then - stumble onto seem to have an even weirder sense of humor than I do ?? (Not that I understand how anything can have a weirder sense of humor than 1764 zillion clonecarnations of something which was completely nuts in the first place...)
OK, never mind... Let's go searching for the next signpost and see if that is more informative and less weird - ahh, there we have it...
Wizard urgently needed
in Four Star Grove
capital of the proud
(and extremely snotty)
high elves of
Four Star Grove
*grf* More informative but even less inspiring than the previous signpost - snotty high elves seem to occur in too many of my clonecarnations (well, to be perfectly honest, even *one* occurrence would be one too many!) but I fear that is the chair of wizardry I am supposed to fill in in this clonecarnation - so Four Star Grove, here comes Bluffy the Slayer Apprentice!
*OOPS!* Well, that first signpost did warn about unusual side-effects, but I'm definitely not ready to change my name to that!
Never mind, there we have one of those snotty high elves - let's get this over with once and for all so I can settle myself in that chair of wizardry...
-Hey, you snotty bastard, you, take me to your capital on the double, or I will turn you into a snouty bastard!
-With pleasure, oh esteemed wizard - I understand you have arrived because you have been magically drawn to the signpost! It was put up by the late Alodar the Apprentice who has visited this WoW world of Elven Nation several times, and he guesstimated that Four Star Grove might be in need of a new wizard pretty soon... But us high elves are in reality very humble, and not snotty at all - however wizard Alodar was adamant that the wording had to be exactly that "or it wouldn't draw the right candidate for the job" was his exact words!
(Weirder and weirder - now I even seem to be preparing for future arrivals of myself in new [or old?] worlds but still I have no memory whatsoever of putting up that signpost?)
-Frankly, I have no idea how he knew it, but no doubt he was perfectly right! I am definitely the right candidate for just about every job that involves filling a(ny) chair of wizardry, so the signpost did its job well!
-I am relieved to hear that! Our anxious waiting is finally over, wizard...?
-Alod... ehh, hmm... Bluffy the Slayer Apprentice is the name, fella!
(No, never! I have to get out of this mess quickly - let me see... Oh yes! [Casting the spell "Erase the names of Bluffy the Slayer Apprentice and Alodar the Apprentice and all references known and unknown to a certain signpost mentioning 'snotty high elves' from the mind of a humble high elf"] *Whew* When even simple spells have complicated names like that, I sometimes wish I could have taken up a simpler occupation...)
-Alodar the Apprentice is the name, fella! Now please take me to your capital, and fill me in on the particular details of this particular world!
[Approximately 42 minutes later]
-OK, so this elegant building is your magic college! Your previous wizard had exquisite taste, I must admit - I will surely enjoy it here! Ehh... I do hope he was equally exquisite in his cuisine tastes, so that also the kitchen is equally elaborate?
-Well... No mere mortal high elf has ever visited the building, so I fear you will have to find out for yourself, revered wizard Alodar - now I really must leave (Leaving in a 'hurrier than hurry' type of hurry)
OK, I'll find out for myself then... *SHRIEK!* Oh NO! I'll definitely strangle that previous clonecarnation of me who set up this cruel practical joke for this clonecarnation of me!!!
Hmm, I do know some useful kitchen-creating spells so this is hopefully not a major disaster, just a minor cataclysm... I'd better fix it at once, so I can concentrate on my work... [A couple of kitchen-fixing spells, and more than a couple of fixing awry-gone kitchen-fixing spells, later]
Well, now that that is taken care of, let's get on to business - this must be the library... Now where do I start - hmm, this title looks somehow familiar:
"A Short Introduction to the Foundations of Elven Magick".
"A short introduction" - that sounds good! I like them short and snappy - wait, what says the fine print...
"Volume I of XLII"...
*grumble* Why couldn't that previous clonecarnation of mine fiddle with this part of reality when he was out here thinking up impractical jokes? Now, where did I put my glasses...
Contact Alodar the Apprentice at rwikman@ra.abo.fi
Wizard Aralin
Contact Aralin at aralin@zg.cz
No Blurb Submitted As Yet.
Contact Egion at conejero@exp.uji.es
We noble Elves of Heavens Pinnacle have been selected by the gods!
The gate to the gods will open on the day of reckoning and we will return to the surface of this land to take control.
We gladly await our fellow Elves to contact us - We must wipe the Dark Elves and foul Orcs from our realms.
In the past we have had little dealing with Dervish folk, short of some minor trading, we understand that they are mighty warriors and weould urge them to join the side of truth and justice.
Let the light shine down from
Heaven's
Pinnacle and bestow its glory on these, our blessed lands!
Contact our Embassy through the usual mystical channels...
Contact Rathnagz at R.NEWCOMBE@WEST-CHESHIRE.AC.UK
Elves of Ughanton, The Dark
The Dark Elves of Uganthon would like to inform everyone
that we are open for communication, and that we will accept both
friendly,
neutral and hostile messages with great delight. If you are interested
in
trading information, maps, friendly messages or perhaps just some juicy,
aggressive, truely disgusting mails, that would be great!
A little something about us. It seems we are
currently
residing in some deep, dark caverns, and we have yet to find a way to
the land
above. The good news is, that there seems to be a lot of resources down
here. We
have of course yet to discover all the shires down here, but that should
only be
a matter of time. If you happen to see some nasty looking creatures
wandering
around down here in the underworld, do worry. As you might know, the
Dark Elves
are not a particualry clever race, and they will kill sometimes for fun,
and
sometimes because they are afraid. I suspect they would kill theyr own
shadows
at times, if they were able to. But not to worry. They will only kill
you if
they somehow manage to surprise you, and that is not likely. Often, they
sing or
argue, or just do their best to make as much noice as possible, since
wandering
monster are not likely to attack them if they do this (I did mention the
Dark
Elves are not a very clever people, yes?).
Well then, over to more serious matters. By strange
laws, we are forced to vanquish all other races, people and whatever we
might
find, expect those under the leadership of our wise allies. In other
words, if
you don't want to be vanquished, please send us a message, and we might
discuss
the terms of your surrender (or perhaps we can reach some other
agreement, if
that's preferable to you of course).
A five-step plan has been put together by the Council
of
Uganthon. This plan includes the process of Armageddon. We
expect to have vanquished all enemy wizards before we will have that
spell, but we will
research it, merely for safety precausions. Generous as the people of
Uganthon is, we are
willing to share our plans with our enemies as well. It's not like it
will make a
difference for your faith anyway.
1. Research the famous "Spirit Drain". As
we have already
recieved our first hero, this spell will have great influnce in early
battles.
2. Research the even more famous spell of
"Summon Dark Lord".
By calling on the aid of the mighty dark lords, we should be able to
conquer some towns
easily, hence balancing economy in our favor. With the use of the third
step, we can even
get control of these towns.
3. Research "Non-Corporal". Using fast
moving heroes with
high spellcraft, we will conquer shires with or without the aid of
DLO's, surprising the
enemies where they'll least expect it.
4. Research "Heighten Battle Speed/Imbue
Life". These are the
ultmiate combat spells when using large armies, provided a strong gem
supply. We believe
the Creator has given us a connection to the Astral plance, hence
providing enough gems
for our needs.
5. If the enemies are very persitent, we will have to
terminate them by
using the Ultimate Spell, Armageddon. Of course, life expectancy of our
enemies are
considered to be between 15 and 20 months. If they by chance should be
able to hold on
longer, we are prepared to use this spell within a two year period.
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A peak into the world of the Uganthon (perhaps continued regulary in the news section?)
PROLOG:
It is a rather small room with two doors, and one window. The doors are on the left, and the window is on the right. The room contains a large desk and a well padded chair in the sentre of the room, and some books deployed here and there, as if to give the impression of a man hard at work. In the well padded chair sits a rather large, perhaps somewhat old man with a hint of grey at the temples, and more than a few wrinkles. He is the leader of the mighty Dark Elves of Uganthon, and calls himself Dimlur....
(A knock at one of the doors. Dimlur, who is trying to make the chair stand on two legs for the moment, quickly puts all the chairs four legs firmly on the ground, and waits a few moments. When the knock comes again, he fixes a stern look on his face and responds))
Dimlur: "Come in!"
(The door opens, and Dimlurs personal advisor steps into the room, also referred to as Number One)
Number One: "Greetings, my Lord. Sorry to interrupt you in your most certainly busy matters, but I was wondering if you are allright. You have spent the last few days in your rooms, and we haven't heard a word from you. I belive there are events out there in the world that you perhaps should respond to? Perhaps build something, or do something about the taxes or feeding?"
Dimlur: "What? Have I been in here for so long? Ahh, the work keeps me busy you know. Well, I definently have got some orders for you this time. Unless I am mistaken, most of our soldiers left last month? I am glad that was taken care of at least. Now, take a look at what I have proposed for this month.
(Number One steps over to the table, and takes the papers Dimlur is handing him. After a few minutes of reading, the conversation continues)
Number One: "You can't be serious about hiring that flashy Paladin! He is charging far too much money, and he is looking down at us with his nose in the air like we are rats or something.
Dimlur: (whispers) "Or something..."
Number One: What was that, my Lord?
Dimlur: Nothing. I was just thinking of something. I will hire the Paladin, but I have yet to deside what to do with him. If you've got any suggestion, you are welcome to offer them. Hmm, I will think of something. As for the money, you are right. Tell the people of the surrounding shires that we need to tax them to the blood, for the good of the capitol, and their future. Just temporary of course. We have to be able to build buildings, so we can recruit stronger troops and be more prosporous.
Number One: "Hmm, they will not take it lightly my Lord, but it will be as you command."
Dimlur: "If anyone even whispers the words of revolt, you know what to do, right?"
Number One: "Hmm, I will do what I can do. Anything else?"
Dimlur: "No, that will be all for now."
(Number One is going through the door, when Dimlur gives him some last instructions. Soon after, a lucious female walks into the room, and they both disappear through the second door)
************************************************************************ ********************************************************
Even though we are enemies, it doesn't mean we can't be friends, right?
Contact Dimlùr at frode.klev@himolde.no
Once again I find myself leading a Dervish Clan. Hopefully, this time will be more successful than last....... Who knows what will happen on this world? I have never been here before, and my knowledge of the Dervishes is somewhat limited by my rather short tenure as their ruler last time. My mind is distracted by events on other planes but I promise my new subjects that I will endeavour to focus my efforts on ensuring that the tribesmen of Mantack are counted amongst the victors. I'm not fixated upon my last incarnation as leader of Dervishes. I just feel the need to somehow purge the stigma that is associated with defeat, to remove the stain upon my soul. It would be far too easy to attribute the fault with the Dervishes themselves, and that would probably be wrong. Of course, one should always consider the possibility that my defeat and expulsion from the realm were solely and utterly due to an inbuilt weakness of the Dervish people. I am not such a petty Wizard. I rise above such trivial name calling. Although, should this venture prove as doomed as the last then I must logically consider all of the evidence. Should my associations with the Dervish people continue to be unsuccessful then as the only constant in the equations I must reasonably consider the Dervish race as flawed. After all, it cannot be me?!? Anyway, I ramble, it is time to devote my attentions to ensuring the success of my rule in this realm. Domination of my foes, subjugation of my enemies, personal elevation to greatness and success to my allies............ My name is Yarl, and I am not paranoid, at all!
Contact Yarl at DarrellPenning@breathe.com
From the midsts of the the swirling sands, you seem to see a tall spire
over the next dune. After travelling for 3 weeks across these forgotten
wastes, and seeing the same things day after day, the spire is a
welcomed sight, as well as evidence of living beings. The water bags are
running out, and if you do not get to replenish them, you may never
leave this area. Hurrying forward, you reach the top of the dune. You
couldn't help keep a sigh of dismay from reaching your lips, as you find
the spire is just that, the tip of a spire, buried in sand. Whatever
inhabitants would have left eons ago, or learnt to breathe sand, an
unlikely event.
By the side of the spire, you see a wooden board. Moving forward, you
brush off some sand from the board, and read the words carved there.
Hmmm ... interesting ... it says "Fluffy waz here" in broad flowing
scripts, albeit orcish-like. There were two deep cuts across the "waz"
word, as if someone was trying to erase it. Another word can be seen
above it, something like "lies". Ah ha ! So either Fluffy was here, or
Fluffy lies here. Either way, you don't really care who was here, nor
feel very interested in digging up any corpse.
Say ! What is that thing !!! A "Chug-Chug" sound seems to come out from
the wind. You peer into the swirling sands, and lo ! there is something
flying in the sky, a mechanical contraption. It seemed to see you, and
was heading your way. Nearer it comes, and you can see it clearly now. A
bulky looking object, with something twirling on the top. How it kept
aloft is a mystery, but it seems to have something to do with that
metallic looking box that is
belching out greasy smoke and giving off that "Chugging" sound. However,
what is more surprising, is that the pilot is not one of the mysterious
Sand People, but a Elf !
The 'thopter landed in a flurry of blowing sand, and you hurry forward.
After exhausting your own small store of known Elvish words, which
alternately asked after their health, cursing their ancestors, and
description of various sexual positions, you manage to wrangle a ride.
The 'thopter lifted, after you sat on the only passenger seat. As the
'thopter is moving as less than 15 feet off the ground, you have a
pleasant but dusty ride. Minutes later, you reach a field, where more of
such thingamics are present, in various conditions. After thanking the
pilot with what you think
are salutations of his health (what was said was actually "May I happily
eat shit", due to a few mispronounced syllables), you leave the
chortling pilot rolling on the ground. Seeing what you think are Amazon
People nearby, you walk over to them ...
With that..a vision of Fluffy the wizard appeared..
The dawn of a new era came with the sunrise in the Elven nation. The
horns sounded for the people to gather at the tower of the wizard
fluffy. Idle gossip was plentiful in the crowd as the wizard stepped
forth.....
"My people, the time has come for us to reach out in the world and
fulfill our destiny. We can no longer stay confined to our small
lands. We must move forward. I have called our army together and have
ordered they move out in the morning.
Our enemies shall learn why they fear the night. They shall all drown
in lakes of blood. Our armies of god shall kill every living thing on
this world and we shall have the wizards fleeing for
their very lives.
I shall lead you on our dark path to crucify leaders before their own
people. We shall either be victorious or we shall die trying. I have
initiated a policy to insure that our nation will not fall aside in
history like so many other nations that have vanished and their people
forgotten in history.
With our allies we shall make the world tremble. I shall bring you
untold riches from new lands and make our people once again the feared
fighters our ancestors were of old."
The people cheered as the wizard walked among the crowd and was
with his people. For the wizard realized that oly through his people
can any leader truely achieve success.
If god be for us then who could stand against us...
Fluffy the Wizard
Contact Fluffy at promimity@va.prestige.net
Extract from the memoirs of Ordo Equester
Extract from the memoirs of Ordo Equester, Lord of the High Elves of Amilagon, as scribed by his obedient servant Penisthetool, first to find his master on the blessed day of the fires in the sky....
"The sensation is strange indeed, to know that once you were all powerful,
even to challenging the son of a god. And yet, as I, Ordo Equester, sit in
this cold garret, atop this measly apology for a castle, my memories are
scattered as fragments of a crystal carelessly dropped to a stone floor. A
curse on that analogy, for the clearest memory of all is of that crowning
moment to years of effort, ah but that is for later.
This dictation may once again kindle the flame of ambition that once burned
so bright.
The Plainsmen of Grinola had bent to my every word, and built their meagre
town to be the greatest city on the Isles of Arragoth. They witnessed the
ease with which my alliance with Thurban II and Warduke had rid the world of
charlatans like Ra and Darkstar, mere dabblers in the magic arts.
Yes, they felt the fear as the Temple of Darkness rose alongside the Royal
Court, and the wonder as the Pyramid of Power grew to dwarf all other
building in the city. They shuddered in anticipation of their pain, as the
Sacrificial Altar was completed, and the dark shadow claimed the first of
its many victims.
But for all that, they rejoiced in the victories that my armies brought, and
the entertainers that roved the kingdom with tales of those victories, and
of the exploits of the dozens of heroes, from the conquest of enchanted
places to the mighty feats of arms and magic."
My master pauses for breath, and I see again the deep lines of exhaustion
that scarred his naked frame, the day he appeared as a ghostly form before
my eyes, slowly gaining depth until his body crashed to the ground, very
nearly into the fire burning in the great hearth!.
I am rewarded for caring for him, with the task of writing the prologue to
his new life, here amongst the High Elves. If it pleases him, I may be
allowed
to chronicle his life.
"Pen!. You daydream whilst your master speaks. have a care that I do not
sever your head from your shoulders, so that it can dream all it likes in
the latrine.
Now, as I was saying.Ah yes, the mighty feats of arms and magic. That was
the culmination of my power, and I gave them the chance to watch as the
image of Darkstar's city of Bulls Canyon shimmered in the air above the
market square. They saw the raw energy rise from the Pyramid of Power, and
counting as one counts the seconds between the lightning and the peel of
thunder, they fell silent as the Armageddon spell descended and as one they
turned from the brilliance of the light as it struck home. One by one they
gasped, as the picture slowly reformed, and they beheld the desolation and
carnage that I had wrought in the name of darkness.
I pronounced there and then that I would refine the spell further, and they
could watch in similar fashion as I eradicated the Son of Arragoth from the
Isles, his legions and all.
Maybe I had expected cheers of delight, but their utter silence was reward
enough, and as they shuffled off to the taverns and inns to contemplate what
they seen amongst their infernal chatter, I began to research ways to
improve the spell.
It was not as hard as I had imagined, a larger gem would increase the power
of the spell, and I sent couriers across the Isles to find the perfect stone
for my jewellers to cut into the precise shape required to focus the energy.
Soon the day dawned, and the plainsmen gathered, with emissaries from all
the lands arriving to witness the freeing of the Isles from the threat of a
godly awakening.
Standing atop the Pyramid of Power, I began the chant, and directed all my
thoughts into the crystal in my hands. Its subtle vibrations grew as the
energy was drawn from the very ether, and the colours of the rainbow danced
within the crystal.
Down below, in the market square, thousands stood open mouthed at the
spectacle before them. The image of the resting place of the godling hung in
the air, and many knew that his slumbers would be made permanent, as their
trust (or was it fear?) in their tyrant was absolute.
As the last words of the forgotten tongue left my lips, the throbbing of the
crystal became so intense that the very earth vibrated. It was then that I
saw my folly.
Not noticed in all the preparation, neither by the craftsmen who cut it, nor
myself as I inspected it; I could now see a distortion in the reflections of
light within the crystal facets, and instead of channelling the energy into
a synchronous beam that would emit from the pyramidic tip of the gem, the
living power had found another exit.
Looking fleetingly at the gathered multitudes, I felt a pang of compassion,
for their fate was sealed and they knew nothing of it, fixed as they were on
the image hung before them.
Quickly, I mumbled the words of the Dimensional Shift spell, and felt myself
begin to dematerialise, even as the crystal fell to the stone at my feet. In
the last moments of my existence on the Isles, the faces of the unfortunate
few who saw my going grew taught with horror and confusion. Even as the last
of my being was fading, I felt the awesome heat, so hot as to feel ice-cold,
and the mist that grew with the vapourisation of every living thing and
construction that stood in the region of Grinola.
When I woke, the scars that the spell had wrought on my mortal form were
dressed in the softest of linen, and I found that I was in this High Elven
city
of Amilagon. City hardly begins to describe the collection of fine works
amassed over the centuries or millennia of the Elven supremacy.
I can see opportunity lying before me. my ambition a bauble to entice and
inspire the High Elves. Once again I shall research the magics, and maybe
this
time I shall harness the elements and flora instead of the darkness... we
shall see."
The way my master leapt from the chair caught me by surprise, and he strode
from the room as though rejunvenated.. maybe my medicines are more effective
than I thought, but still. the tale I have written down suggests a glorious
future for my fellow High Elves, if we live to see it.
I wonder what I shall write in the next chapter?
A recent painting of our Lord Ordo by the celebrated Vince N Tancough
Contact Ordo Equester at darrell.lias@tiscali.co.uk
Off to WOW Game Status Page.
