PLAYER BLURBS.
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New Page 1 A long long time ago
under a hillside
far
far
away
there lived a aged Gnome who must have drunk too much of the potent Halfling liquor? .. either that, or indulged in the infamous "whacky 'baccy" favoured by the Gnomes to encourage outlandish ideas. To set the scene for our tale, it should be pointed out that his name was Bedalius, and by one of those unusual quirks of fate, he had ascended the great throne over of all the Gnomish realms, at the mere age of 325 years.
Now, some three centuries later, with his legs bent to the shape of a horseshoe, and his back so bent that his nose virtually touched the floor, he had a brief spell of sanity and proclaimed that the throne of the Gnomish Empire would have to have a new resident. The news was greeted with reverie and much swigging of ale, as the taverns and inns rippled with the speculations as to who would succeed the "Ould Fool" (as Bedalius was affectionately known).
Two famous (or should that be infamous?) leaders were quick to put their name forward, Ordo Equester and Lord Oronic, both of whom bore the experience (and scars) of several campaigns on other worlds.
In an ingenious plan to resolve the claim of these two claimants, and the twelve others who had thrown their hats into the ring (actually, it was their seal rings into a polished spitoon, but the bards are wont to sacrifice the actual truth for the sake of a better verse), Bedalius ordered a contest to find the most worthy wizard to succeed him.
Almost immediately, the speculation rose over what the contest would be: a joust, a beauty pageant or a spelling bee?. Some of the most imaginative Gnomes (that epithet extends beyond eccentric to the virtual clinically insane), postulated on the merits of trials by magic or, certainly the weirdest of all, a democratic vote on who should be the new Emperor. [It should be stated that the originator of the latter idea has not been seen since, but there are those who say that his maniacal laughter is heard on the wind if it comes from the Emperor's palace.]
But, no-one was prepared for the announcement that finally came - a contest of magic, military and economic skills to be staged in the faraway world of Andoria, with the rival claimants pitting their skills against each other. The twist being that two claimants must fight together, against two others.
Ordo Equester was to be given the realm of Erg Erinh, and Lord Oronic the realm of Borabudur. These two must put aside their individual claims, and face the claims of the two opposing claimants who would be given the realms of [to be confirmed] and [to be confirmed]. The contestants were to be magically transported to their respective isles, and there to establish themselves ready for the contest to begin. Beyond the scantiest of details (even scantier than an Elf's underwear!) none of the wizards know of the proximity of the others.
At first the peoples of these Orcish realms were enthralled by the prospect of witnessing the titanic struggle between the opposing factions. Ticket Touts began to forward sell seats for the (as yet unannounced) grand joust, and the jollity continued until the leaders arrived, and started to issue orders....It slowly dawned on the disbelieving populaces that the contest was not to be a grand spectacle, with pompous warlords hacking limbs of each other to the cheers (or jeers) of the watching multitudes. The jollity subsided as the reality bit home....
The warlords would sit in the castle towers, watching the blood, gore and screams as the Orcish realms became the contest ground, and Andoria would cease to be the lands of peace and plenty.....The crystal blue waters of the oceans would turn red, the verdant fields would be trampled under the feet of marching hordes, and fathers and sons would be pitched into a war of attrition, with survival the prize, and the alternative too hideous to contemplate.
The rest of the Gnomish empire would be the audience to a spectacle like no other, as Andoria becomes the Theatre of Blood.
THIS IS THE STORY TOLD TO THE CHILDREN OF THE GNMOISH REALMS, AS TO HOW THE ANDORIAN ORCS CAME TO BE KILLING EACH OTHER. or JOLLY GOOD SPORT IF YOU CAN WATCH IT!
Authors note: There is a positive side to all this despair, as the more entrepreneurial Gnomes have discovered - the investment by the contestants has started, and the Gnomish caravans are hard at work, stocking up to sell precious supplies to their green neighbours (at exorbitant prices... never!) Perhaps this despondency may be turned to good account (some National Gnome bank account, that is) and just maybe, the wilder youths have found a potential vocation as a hero to volunteer to serve the vanity of the wizards.
What will be the outcome of the contest?. Time alone will reveal that answer. Until then, the rasp of metal on stone augurs ill for the coming maelstrom and the eyes of many a mother fill with tears as the menfolk gather in the city square for drill.
A recent painting of our Lord Oronic by the celebrated Vince N Tancough
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Contact Fluffy at promimity@va.prestige.net
No Blurb Submitted As Yet.
Contact Yarl at darrellpenning@breathe.com
No Blurb Submitted As Yet.
Contact Hazaar at henson111@msn.com
New Page 1 A long long time ago
under a hillside
far
far
away
there lived a aged Gnome who must have drunk too much of the potent Halfling liquor?.. either that, or indulged in the infamous "whacky 'baccy" favoured by the Gnomes to encourage outlandish ideas. To set the scene for our tale, it should be pointed out that his name was Bedalius, and by one of those unusual quirks of fate, he had ascended the great throne over of all the Gnomish realms, at the mere age of 325 years.
Now, some three centuries later, with his legs bent to the shape of a horseshoe, and his back so bent that his nose virtually touched the floor, he had a brief spell of sanity and proclaimed that the throne of the Gnomish Empire would have to have a new resident. The news was greeted with reverie and much swigging of ale, as the taverns and inns rippled with the speculations as to who would succeed the "Ould Fool" (as Bedalius was affectionately known).
Two famous (or should that be infamous?) leaders were quick to put their name forward, Ordo Equester and Lord Oronic, both of whom bore the experience (and scars) of several campaigns on other worlds.
In an ingenious plan to resolve the claim of these two claimants, and the twelve others who had thrown their hats into the ring (actually, it was their seal rings into a polished spitoon, but the bards are wont to sacrifice the actual truth for the sake of a better verse), Bedalius ordered a contest to find the most worthy wizard to succeed him.
Almost immediately, the speculation rose over what the contest would be: a joust, a beauty pageant or a spelling bee?. Some of the most imaginative Gnomes (that epithet extends beyond eccentric to the virtual clinically insane), postulated on the merits of trials by magic or, certainly the weirdest of all, a democratic vote on who should be the new Emperor. [It should be stated that the originator of the latter idea has not been seen since, but there are those who say that his maniacal laughter is heard on the wind if it comes from the Emperor's palace.]
But, no-one was prepared for the announcement that finally came - a contest of magic, military and economic skills to be staged in the faraway world of Andoria, with the rival claimants pitting their skills against each other. The twist being that two claimants must fight together, against two others.
Ordo Equester was to be given the realm of Erg Erinh, and Lord Oronic the realm of [to be confirmed]. These two must put aside their individual claims, and face the claims of the two opposing claimants who would be given the realms of [to be confirmed] and [to be confirmed]. The contestants were to be magically transported to their respective isles, and there to establish themselves ready for the contest to begin. Beyond the scantiest of details (even scantier than an Elf's underwear!) none of the wizards know of the proximity of the others.
At first the peoples of these Orcish realms were enthralled by the prospect of witnessing the titanic struggle between the opposing factions. Ticket Touts began to forward sell seats for the (as yet unannounced) grand joust, and the jollity continued until the leaders arrived, and started to issue orders....It slowly dawned on the disbelieving populaces that the contest was not to be a grand spectacle, with pompous warlords hacking limbs of each other to the cheers (or jeers) of the watching multitudes. The jollity subsided as the reality bit home....
The warlords would sit in the castle towers, watching the blood, gore and screams as the Orcish realms became the contest ground, and Andoria would cease to be the lands of peace and plenty.....The crystal blue waters of the oceans would turn red, the verdant fields would be trampled under the feet of marching hordes, and fathers and sons would be pitched into a war of attrition, with survival the prize, and the alternative too hideous to contemplate.
The rest of the Gnomish empire would be the audience to a spectacle like no other, as Andoria becomes the Theatre of Blood.
THIS IS THE STORY TOLD TO THE CHILDREN OF BOMBANDARIC, AS TO HOW THE ANDORIAN ORCS CAME TO BE KILLING EACH OTHER. or JOLLY GOOD SPORT IF YOU CAN WATCH IT!
Authors note: There is a positive side to all this despair, as the more entrepreneurial Gnomes have discovered - the investment by the contestants has started, and the Gnomish caravans are hard at work, stocking up to sell precious supplies to their green neighbours (at exorbitant prices... never!) Perhaps this despondency may be turned to good account (some National Gnome bank account, that is) and just maybe, the wilder youths have found a potential vocation as a hero to volunteer to serve the vanity of the wizards.
What will be the outcome of the contest?. Time alone will reveal that answer. Until then, the rasp of metal on stone augurs ill for the coming maelstrom and the eyes of many a mother fill with tears as the menfolk gather in the city square for drill.
A recent painting of our Lord Ordo by the celebrated Vince N Tancough
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * This message is confidential. It may also be privileged or protected by other legal rules. It does not constitute an offer or acceptance of an offer, nor shall it form any part of a legally binding contract. If you have received this communication in error, please let us know by reply then destroy it. You should not use, print, copy the message or disclose its contents to anyone. E-mail is subject to possible data corruption, is not secure, and its content does not necessarily represent the opinion of this Company. No representation or warranty is made as to the accuracy or completeness of the information and no liability can be accepted for any loss arising from its use. This e-mail and any attachments are not guaranteed to be free from so-called computer viruses and it is recommended that you check for such viruses before down-loading it to your computer equipment. This Company has no control over other websites to which there may be hypertext links and no liability can be accepted in relation to those sites. Scottish Courage Brewing Limited Registered in Scotland, Registered Number 65525 Registered Office: 33, Ellersly Road, Edinburgh, EH12 6HX Head Office: John Courage House, 1 Broadway Park, Edinburgh, EH12 9JQ * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Contact Ordo Equester at darrell.lias@tiscali.co.uk
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